Do you think you attract the same type of guys? So, you’ve been meeting new guys, but the ones showing interest seem alike, and you’re wondering why.
There’s nothing wrong with them, but they just don’t fit your personality. It can be frustrating when the same type of guys who you don’t fancy keep coming your way, but it’s not about you. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
There are certain reasons why you attract the same type of guys, and you can change that if you want.
Fortunately, in this article, you’ll find out 10 critical reasons why you attract the same type of guys. Whether it’s something good or bad, you’ll satisfy your curiosity.
10 Major Reasons Why You Attract the Same Type of Guys
Certain things you do, whether consciously or unconsciously will attract the same kind of people to you. And if you’re wondering why you attract the same type of guys, it could be because you have a standard that you follow.
Also, it could be that you frequent the same places, you’re yet to put yourself more out there, or you don’t know what you want.
In addition, if you give a particular kind of vibe, you’re not strict with your boundaries, or you focus mainly on being what others want, you’re likely to attract the same type of guys.
Here are 10 critical reasons you attract the same type of guys:
- You keep to your standards
- You visit the same places often
- You attract what you are
- You look for men who complement you
- You don’t know what you want
- You give off a unique vibe
- You don’t have boundaries or you’re not strict about them
- You’re yet to put yourself out there
- Your past experiences play a part
- You focus mainly on what men want rather than what you want
You Keep to Your Standards
One of the reasons you attract the same type of guys is because you’ve standards and you keep to them.
First, as individuals you ought to have standards and values that guide you. Having these values helps keep disrespect far away from you.
Then as someone looking to get into a relationship, having standards is necessary. Also, maintaining and not compromising these standards can help you in finding the right kind of person you want.
So, if you’re the type that keeps to your standards, you’ll tend to meet and attract the same kind of people.
This means you’ll be committed to finding people who align with these standards because you won’t be able to tolerate those who don’t.
For instance, as a lady, if one of your standards is honesty, you’ll be on the lookout for an honest guy. And that means you’ll most times be surrounded by these people who can take an interest in you.
In addition, if one of your standards is honesty, it then means you should be honest yourself. So, a man who values honesty will find you attractive, and there are many of these men out there.
You Visit the Same Places Often
Another thing that’ll make you attract the same kind of people is if you visit the same places often.
If you go to a school, you’ll find students and if you go to a workplace, you’ll find workers. What this means is that people often go to places they fit into.
So, if you’re the type who frequents a particular kind of place, you’ll end up meeting the same kind of people.
For instance, if you’re the club kind of girl, then you’ll most times meet the club kind of guys who are likely to get attracted to you.
Likewise, if you’re the church kind of girl, you’ll end up meeting churchy guys. So, there’s no magic about it, it’s just the law of nature. You get what you put, or you reap what you sow.
You Attract What You Are
We’ve often heard of, “unlike poles attract,” that’s “opposites attract.” While this is true, there’s the law of attraction that states that “like attracts like.”
Like truly attracts like, and we’ve often seen this play out in our daily lives. For example, we tend to gravitate toward people who think like us, people who have the same background, people who have the same taste, etc.
As a lady looking forward to getting into a relationship, if you notice you keep attracting the same kind of men, these men may be like you.
Are you confident? Confident men are likely to find you quickly. Are you jovial? Then, jovial men will notice you faster. Are you a fan of self-development? Men who are keen on self-development will find you attractive.
The list can go on and on. You attract what you are.
Also, this law applies to our thoughts-reality pattern. The way you think and what you think can affect your reality.
You Look for Men Who Complement You
Another reason why you attract the same kind of men is because you look for men who complement you.
As I’ve already established, the saying, “Opposite attracts” is true. Apart from what some of us learned in physics unlike poles attract, in life too, dissimilar things attract each other. And we find this play in our relationship with people.
While the law of attraction, “like attracts like” works, “opposite attracts” also works. As humans, we can attract what we are and what we are not at the same time.
The reason why opposites attract is to complement each other so that there would be balance.
For instance, if you’re an introvert, you’re more likely to be attracted to an extrovert, the same way an extrovert may find you attractive so that you two complement each other.
So naturally, we tend to look for people who are strong in areas we’re weak, whether consciously or unconsciously, and that means we’re going to be around the same kind of people most of the time.
You Don’t Know What You Want
Another reason why you attract the same kind of guys is that you don’t know what you want.
First, knowing what you want as a human is important to be able to live a purposeful and fulfilled life. It can be dangerous living a life where you don’t know what you want for yourself.
And this applies to our relationships with people. It’s dangerous to take anyone who comes your way and welcome them into your life.
If you don’t know what you want in a relationship, you’re likely going to end up with the wrong kind of people. And not knowing what you want might just be the reason you keep attracting the same kind of men.
However, if you know what you want, you’ll be able to filter the people who come into your life. You’ll carry yourself as a lady who knows what she wants and thus positively attracts those kinds of men.
Also, you’ll be able to give off the vibe of things you like or want in a man, hence easily chasing off men who don’t have those things.
But, when you keep welcoming just anyone into your life, chances are that you’ll keep attracting people who are not fit for you. Just like going into a mall without having anything in mind, you’re likely to end up returning home with a lot of things you don’t need.
You Give Off a Unique Vibe
If you notice that you keep attracting the same kind of men, check out the vibe you give out.
There are certain ways we behave that’ll attract attention to us. Just like certain animals release a chemical that attracts other animals for mating or other activities, so as humans what you give off can also attract a particular kind of person.
Check how you communicate with people, what are the things you do? How do you chat with men? Do you always appear needy and desperate?
These kinds of traits are what people see that either bring them closer to you or chase them away. If you’re always giving sassy and classy vibes, men who like ladies like you will find their way to you.
Your personality plays a big role in the kind of people that come your way so that they’ll be able to vibe with you well.
So, if you notice that the men coming your way are similar in behavior, then it’s likely they found something in you that picks their interest.
You Don’t Have Boundaries or You’re Not Strict About Them
Another possible reason you’re attracting the same kind of men is either because you don’t have boundaries or you’re not strict about them.
As I’ve earlier mentioned, keeping to your standards can help you attract the same kind of men, so also, not setting boundaries or compromising them can attract the same kind of men negatively.
Before getting into a relationship, it’s better you know the things you want, things you can accept and things you can’t accept, and know what is a boundary for you and what is not.
Setting these boundaries will help you navigate well in your choice of partner and also help in achieving a successful relationship.
It’ll help you in making the right choice of people to keep in your circle and people who make their way to you.
However, if you don’t set boundaries when making your choice of men or you keep compromising, then you’ll keep attracting men who don’t fit into your life.
You’re Yet to Put Yourself Out There
If you’re yet to put yourself out there, it then means you’re limiting yourself to meeting a few people.
One of the reasons you keep meeting the same kind of people is because you’ve confined yourself to doing a particular thing or you’ve limited yourself to a particular place.
Just like I’ve established earlier about frequenting the same place making you attract the same type of guys, it’s the same with confining yourself to a particular thing or place.
If you stick to a routine or you stick to a particular way of doing something, you’re unlikely to get a different result. Likewise, if you don’t put yourself out there, then you won’t meet different people.
Putting yourself out there means making deliberate efforts to explore different places, engage in different activities, and try new things.
It also means you make efforts to meet and connect with new people and you remove yourself from your comfort zone.
So, these are things that’ll help you meet different people, and that means different kinds of guys will find their way to you.
Your Past Experiences Play a Part
Your past experiences also play a part in the kind of people you meet and attract.
What’s your growing up like? How was your relationship with your parents and the people around you during your younger days? Did you feel unloved? Did you feel insecure?
Not healing from these experiences has the power to pull us towards the wrong people. If you’re someone who didn’t feel loved while growing up, you’re likely to grow into an insecure adult.
And being insecure means you have low self-esteem, which means you’ll always attract those who don’t value you.
In the same vein, having a good past will influence the kind of vibe and energy you give off, which will attract the right kind of people.
You Focus Mainly on What Men Want Rather Than What You Want
Another thing that makes you attract the same kind of men is that you focus mainly on what they want rather than what you want.
If you’re the type that tries to please others, you’ll end up displeasing yourself. So also, if you’re focused on what a particular guy likes or wants, you’ll do things that attract them to you.
This attitude often stems from wanting to get into a relationship desperately. You end up trying to please someone to get them to notice you. And while you might gain by getting them to notice you, you lose by losing yourself in the process.
Final Words
The things you do affect people around you, including the way they relate to you.
If you’re known for good things, then people who appreciate good things will be attracted to you.
So, if you notice that you’re attracting the same kind of guys, check what you’re doing and see where to change if you don’t like it.
