I know how frustrating it is when talking to a person feels like you’re talking to a brick wall, not to talk of when that person is your boyfriend or spouse, that’s on another level.
Women like to feel heard and understood but, unfortunately, sometimes they find themselves in a situation where their man just doesn’t get them.
How to react or to be responsive to this behavior by men, is the difficulty that women have, some women go on a rampage while some just completely zone off mentally.
Even though both of these reactions sound normal, it does not mean that it is the right thing to do, the things to do are what this entire article is about.
I figured out a way to compress it into 10 things to do when your man does not get you over a particular situation or generally.
If you want to gain more knowledge on this topic, then make sure to read to the end for the best of the best.
Here are 10 things to do when your man just doesn’t get you in order to change or fix the problem
- Have a discussion with him about the issue.
- Learn how to communicate in a language or gesture that he understands.
- Evaluate if they truly accept your peculiarities [ who you truly are].
- Tell them about what you like or do not like.
- Get to know them better in other words, try to ‘get’ them as well.
- Spend more quality time as friends.
- Stop overthinking it [ your man not getting you doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you].
- Have or build a hobby that both of you find enjoyable.
- Ask more questions about him; his background, ideology about life, amongst others.
- Ask yourself if you truly love how different he is from you [ remember opposite attracts].
Have a discussion with him about the issue.
For any relationship to thrive to its fullest potential, it needs effective communication. Even though sometimes, we wish that our partner just automatically knows what we’re thinking or how we are feeling, it isn’t possible.
Without communicating what you feel like that they don’t get about you, you’re never going to get to the root of the matter.
That’s why I recommend that you talk to your partner about it rather than jump to the conclusion that you’re too meant for each other.
Perhaps, the issue is that they don’t like specific things you like or have a different opinion about a specific matter, these are things that could be fixed if both parties are willing to do so.
Learn how to communicate in a language or gesture that he understands.
It’s true that people whose personalities differ are likely to be attracted to each other. That’s why you need to learn how to not just communicate but speak in a way that they can comprehend or can be familiar with.
Let me put this in an instance, for example, if you want your partner to have the knowledge that they do not get you, and you know that they are into sports, what you can do is use sports lingo or terms to get them to understand how you feel.
You could say something like, ‘Babe, you are not kicking the ball into the net with me as I would like.” I am positive that he’s going to have a clearer picture of what you’re saying.
Evaluate if they truly accept your peculiarities [who you truly are].
It could be that your man hasn’t accepted who you truly are or they wish that you acted differently that could make them do or say things that make you feel like they do not get you.
That’s why you need to personally observe if your man has truly accepted that you’re not like him.
You could do this by asking yourself important questions; does he support me in what I love doing? Has he ever sacrificed his happiness or comfort for yours?
The answers to these questions will certainly help you figure out if your man has found peace with you being who you are.
Perhaps after your evaluation and your answers come out negative, then you’ll know that your partner not accepting who you truly are is why they do not get you.
Tell them about what you like or do not like
Even though you magnify the problem or feel like you should blow it out of proportion, simple solutions like these are what you’ll eventually need.
It might be that your partner is not aware of your likes and dislikes, your do’s and don’ts.
That’s when you step up to the plate and make them aware of things that you find amusing or things that you find insulting.
If your man becomes aware of what you enjoy doing then you’re giving him a chance to do those for you and with you, this would certainly eradicate any thoughts that your man does not get you.
Your partner will certainly begin to talk or build an interest in talking about things you like so you can be more comfortable and free to be yourself with him.
Get to know them better in other words, try to ‘get’ them as well.
This is oftentimes the underlying problem that causes the feeling that your partner does not get you.
You want your man to understand everything about you and love you the way you are when you haven’t done the same.
Chances are that if you decide to get to know them better you’re going to discover things that they do have in common with you which could form a bond later in the future.
In a relationship, it takes two people to create a solution and two people to create a problem as well.
You don’t have to get judgemental when you could be guilty of the same. This is why it is vital for you to get to know them, you might learn about their background which could be the reason that they don’t think like you do. It’s never a wrong move to know more about your partner.
Spend more quality time as friends
I discovered that there’s usually more pressure on people who have the mindset that they are dealing with a romantic partner rather than a friend.
You are expecting way too much from a man who just wants to love you the best way he can.
In moments like this, all you have to do is take a deep breath, a few steps backward by just treating your partner like a friend.
Friendship has a way of bringing out the best in you and transcending that message to your partner who also sees you as his best friend.
You can intentionally build that bond and intimacy again with your man by spending more time with him, that way you could communicate more about yourself effortlessly and you won’t have to nag about it.
Stop overthinking it [ your man not getting you doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you].
Humans are guilty of being too much in their head. Just because he isn’t into things that you are into does not necessarily mean that you are not meant for each other.
To be fair to him, you’re not born or raised by the same people or in the same environment, so you don’t have to be uptight about the fact that he does not automatically know what it is you love.
It’s like we desire the perfect replica of ourselves yet we’re attracted or attract people who are different from us in personality, this only means that your partner is meant to complete you and vice versa.
You’re not supposed to expect that you’re being misunderstood because they don’t love you, but instead, it should be because they are different from you and how they think is not the same as yours.
Anytime you feel that your man doesn’t get you, one thing you should try to avoid is to attribute that issue to the idea that it’s because your man doesn’t love you, most times, that’s far from the case.
Have or build a hobby that both of you find enjoyable.
Sharing hobbies or doing an activity that you both like is a very good step to take when you feel that your partner does not get you.
They might get to know deeper things about you, it could be how competitive you are, how your view about life is.
Doing this as well, could make you and your partner able to create memories that will last a lifetime.
These memories will be special to both of you and be what you could talk about and create a bond between you and him.
The last thing you need is to be with someone who is not ready to compromise his comfort just for yours, or be willing to try new things with you.
If your partner is willing to put in the work, you shouldn’t let him go because he doesn’t get you, it’s better to be with someone who is intentional rather than be with a man who says things that make you happy without any action to back it up.
Ask more questions about him; his background, ideology about life, amongst others
There is no crime in asking questions from your partner. Chances are that by asking them questions about their background, perspective about life, and family values, you will be able fully understand how they think and what could be the reason why they do not get you, who was raised differently.
If you will not be able to ask more questions about them then you’re doing yourself the harm of not knowing the root of your man not getting you.
It could also trigger a form of reciprocation from your man, if he notices that you’re interested in knowing him more and being willing to do things that he likes, he would want to do the same which could be of benefit to you and the relationship.
If you’re not going to humble yourself to know what he likes, then you’re not going to get the chance to be known on a deeper level.
Ask yourself if you truly love how different he is from you [remember opposite attracts].
Self-evaluation is important and could give you all the answers that you’re looking for. If you are sincere with yourself, you’ll be able to know if your man has been truly embraced by you.
Earlier, I mentioned that you should evaluate if your partner has fully accepted who you are, this time, it is the other way round, you have to be able to answer questions; do you love him for who he is?
Do you understand him on a deeper level? You certainly will not have to deal with the issue of being misunderstood or you mean not getting you, if your answers are genuine.
You shouldn’t let your mind be troubled over things that might be a reflection of what you do or what you think. If you haven’t accepted them, that could be the reason why your man does not get you.
If at the end of the day, you feel that your partner does not get you after these self-evaluations, you can try the other steps before making any decision.
Conclusion
Having a man that does not get you is a problem indeed, but there are ways to go about it that at the end, you would be easily understood by him.
To be honest, in some cases, ladies are the ones hard to figure out because of how emotionally complex they are, this is why it would be wise to break down information in the easiest way possible in order for the man, who is more logical to fully grasp it.
So ladies/women, instead of getting so emotional and thinking of worst-case scenarios because your man doesn’t get you, do some of these things and see the huge difference it could make.
