“Relationship” might have a specific definition, but what people look for in a relationship can be vastly different.
In the relationship world, people are there for reasons peculiar to them.
While there are specifics one must look out for if they want a successful and healthy relationship, it’s not out of place to have your standards.
Moreover, it’s good to identify the reason you’re going into a relationship and to find a partner who aligns with you.
So, in this article, I’ll be discussing 15 things people look for in a relationship.
From love, companionship, security, lovemaking, and countless other things, you’ll get an insight into some of the reasons people get into a relationship and what they look out for in their partner.
Companionship
Companionship is one of the first things people seek out in a relationship.
First, human nature is wired to live with people and to live off people.
From the religious aspect, the biblical story of creation tells that after God created man, he saw that it wasn’t good for him to be alone, so he went ahead to create a woman.
From a scientific aspect, the human body secretes hormones that make them seek out companionship from people.
So, naturally, humans are dependent beings. People need to relate with one another to survive.
Therefore, one of the many things to look out for in a relationship is companionship. Many people are very desperate to get into a romantic relationship because they’re very lonely and can’t cope with it.
They want someone to talk to when they’re down or very excited. Not that they don’t have families and even friends, but there’s this companionship they seek out for their loneliness, which they’ll find in a romantic partner.
Moreover, some lack friends and need the company of someone they can call a friend. Some lack people in their lives; families, and friends, and just need someone to help their loneliness.
So, companionship is a valid reason to get into a relationship.
Love
Another thing people look out for in a relationship is love.
Love is one of the important aspects of life. It’s one of the first things people get into a relationship for and what people look for in a relationship.
A feeling of acceptance comes with love. Some people like to think love is everything: once there’s love, there’s sacrifice, patience, and other virtues.
Also, love is the feeling of deep connection you get with someone. Love is the excitement you get when you see your partner. Love is the feeling you get when someone does something nice for you.
Love is that feeling of contentment you get by just being with someone.
So, many people like to have these feelings. A lot of people would want to know what it feels like to be wanted, to be cared for, and to care for someone else.
Also, a lot of people would want to know how it feels to be cherished deeply, to have someone willing to sacrifice for them.
Validation
Another important reason people get into a relationship is to get validation.
Validation is the process that proves something is legal or authentic. In a relationship, validation is the feeling you get when you know someone approves of you or acknowledges you.
Also, seeking validation in a relationship can come in two ways.
First, someone might want a relationship because they need to have that feeling of being lovable or wanted.
Someone who has an inferiority complex or has been in an environment where there’s little to no love usually falls into this category.
For instance, if someone has constantly been belittled or looked down upon, they’re likely to develop a feeling of unworthiness or low self-esteem.
Another instance is someone who grew up in a family where there’s little love to share around, they’re likely to grow up thinking they can’t be loved.
So, such a person might see a relationship as proof that they can be loved. Especially if they’re around people in relationships who always talk positively about it, they’re likely to feel good when someone seeks them out for a relationship.
Furthermore, people seek validation from their romantic partners. Validation, in this case, is the feeling of being heard and understood by your partner.
As I’ve already established, validation is the feeling you get when you know you’re being respected and accepted by your partner.
So, these are the two scenarios people look for validation in a relationship.
Lovemaking
Another thing people look for in a relationship is lovemaking.
Lovemaking is a physical and physiological need. While you don’t need to be in a relationship to sleep with someone, some people prefer the intimacy and exclusiveness that come with a relationship.
Some people get into a relationship because they want to satisfy their desire to get intimate. They may not be keen on getting it just anywhere and so they seek a relationship for it.
Consequently they either get into a purely intimate relationship with no strings attached, or they get into a proper relationship and get to make love as they want.
Moreover, intimacy is important in relationships. While it might not be so for everyone depending on the kind of relationship, it’s something two people romantically involved with each other look forward to.
And so for some people, it’s their drive in a relationship.
Financial Covering
Financial cover is another thing people look for in a relationship.
Finance is an important aspect of life. Therefore, it’s an important aspect of relationships as a part of life. Whether you like it or not, you need money to go through with life. That’s why people work and do all sorts of things for money.
For some people, they look for that financial breakthrough in relationships.
These kinds of people see a partner as their source of income, and when the money isn’t forthcoming, they quit.
Some won’t get into a relationship if they feel the person is not financially capable of supporting them.
So, while others might be looking for love and companionship, some are okay with financial support.
Once their partner can foot their bill they’re okay; they don’t care about commitment, they don’t care if they have multiple partners or if they love them.
And that’s why you hear of terms such as, “sugar daddy or sugar mummy.”
Accountability Partner
An accountability partner is one thing people look for in a relationship becayse they help one stay committed to a goal or vision. They provide all forms of support to help them remain on track.
So, some people are on the lookout for such a person in a relationship. They need someone they can share their goals and commitment with.
They need someone to share their experiences with, they want to know that there’s someone who can be there for them.
Support
A supportive partner is one of the keys to a successful relationship. It’s an important aspect of any relationship. If you’re together with someone, they should be able to provide a form of support to you.
Moreover, support encompasses a lot of things. It could be emotional, financial, spiritual, or any other aspects.
If you’re emotionally down, can you count on your partner to encourage you?
If you’re struggling financially, can you count on your partner not adding to your frustration? If you’re facing any form of challenge, can you rely on your partner?
So, support is an important factor people look out for in a relationship. They want someone they can fall back on no matter how independent they are.
Someone, who’s passionate about their dreams and goals. Someone who encourages them to be who they are and not try to change them to fit into what they want.
In addition, support strengthens relationships and makes one feel valued.
Compatibility
Compatibility is the ability to coexist without problem. When you say two things are compatible, it means they fit together or can work together without having any issues.
So, the first thing people look out for before getting into a relationship is compatibility.
People are often advised to check if they’re compatible with the person they intend to get married to.
This is an important factor because it determines how long one can survive in a marriage or a long-term relationship.
In addition, knowing if you’re compatible with someone involves checking if your goals, values, morals, beliefs, perspective, and even humor match.
While humans cannot always have the same beliefs or ideas, it isn’t wise to go into a long-term relationship with someone who’s the complete opposite in every area of your life.
Compatibility is not measured on whether you both align in every aspect of life, but whether the person shares the same view on certain important aspects of your life, which only you can define.
So, people look for compatibility in relationships to see if they’re good at committing for a long time.
Starting a Family
One of the most common reasons romantic relationships exist in the first place is to start a family.
Ancient belief has always viewed the relationship between a man and woman as something that should lead to marriage.
While there are other things people look for in a relationship, starting a family remains one of the most common reasons.
They want someone to call their family, they want to start a new life with them, they want to have children with them, and they want to grow old with them.
Also, a lot of people see having a family as a life’s purpose. It’s part of the things they look forward to achieving before they die.
For them, lacking such makes life incomplete. They feel unfulfilled if they don’t get a partner or child.
As a result, a lot of people get into a relationship to start a family. So, they look for that thing that makes them believe their partner is ready for such too.
Peace
Peace is another thing people want and look for in a relationship.
Peace is that feeling you get when you’re free from worries. Peace in a relationship means you’re at ease with your partner, it means you experience comfort with them.
I’ve been in several relationship conversations with people, and when you ask them what they want in a partner, many of them say “peace.”
They want that partner who won’t disturb their peace of mind, they don’t want that partner who’s constantly nagging, they want someone they always wish to run home to, someone they yearn to hear their voice.
Moreover, a peaceful partner will understand you and be able to tolerate you, they won’t use your struggles or weaknesses against you, but rather help you overcome them.
So, peace is something most people want in a relationship. And that’s why when they don’t get it, some of them find it somewhere.
A Good Listener
Another thing people want in a relationship is a good listener.
Listening skill is part of effective communication. A good listener is patient, they don’t just wish to be heard alone, they’re also interested in hearing others.
First, communication is very important in a relationship. The importance cannot be overemphasized. But, communication won’t be effective in a relationship when only one person does the talking.
How then will the other communicate their feelings when their partner isn’t willing to heat them?
So, many people are out for someone with good listening skills in a relationship. They want someone who likes hearing them talk and not someone who would talk their ear off.
In addition, listening doesn’t stop at hearing the other speak, but also understanding and empathizing with them, and being willing to practice what you’ve heard.
Trust
Trust is another thing people are after in a relationship.
Trust is the feeling of assurance and confidence you have in someone or something. Also, trust in a relationship entails being able to rely on your partner because you’re confident they won’t hurt or disappoint you.
First, trust is another important factor in a healthy relationship. For a relationship to be successful, both parties need to have a reasonable level of trust in each other.
While people might say that you should never trust a fellow human, however, for two people to be in an intimate relationship, means they already have a level of trust for each other.
But, when one partner doesn’t show any sign of trust, it makes the other lack faith in the relationship.
A partner who doesn’t trust you will constantly make you unhappy. No one would want someone who’s always questioning their movement, no one would want someone quick to judge and condemn them.
Sense of Humor
Another thing people look for in a relationship is a partner with a sense of humor.
A sense of humor is another excellent tool for a healthy relationship. Having a partner with a great sense of humor helps bond with each other easier.
If one person has a sense of humor, it won’t be easy if the other doesn’t match their sense of humor.
Also, a partner with a good sense of humor will make communication better, they’ll make conversations more interesting, and they’ll make silence comfortable.
So, one of the things people look for in a relationship is someone who matches their energy and not someone who’ll diffuse it.
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to be sensitive to other’s feelings and understand them. It’s one of the ingredients that determines whether one would enjoy or endure a relationship.
An empathetic partner would be able to see things from your perspective, they would be able to put themselves in your shoes and provide encouragement.
No one wants a partner who can’t share their feelings, someone who’s quick to disregard their emotions, and someone who doesn’t understand their feelings.
So, empathy is one of the things people look for in a relationship. A lack of empathy is equivalent to a lack of love. There can be empathy without love, but there can’t be love without empathy.
Security
Security is another reason people get into a relationship and one of the things they look for in a relationship.
Security in a relationship can mean different things for different people.
First, someone might want to start a relationship to get that feeling of security, that feeling that there’s someone for them, that feeling that they can always rely on someone.
For someone in a relationship, feeling secure would mean there’s love and respect. It means they don’t fear being judged, it means they don’t have to question their worth.
Additionally, feeling secure in a relationship means you’re confident of your partner’s feelings for you and in your feelings for them.
Wrapping Up
People look for many things in a relationship and these are just 15 out of many.
While you’re free to have what you want and need from a relationship, some things matter.
Therefore, define what matters to you and define your relationship today.
