Just because a guy’s been single for a long time doesn’t mean he’s ugly or boring. Some guys enjoy being single, while others have standards higher than Mount Everest.
Roughly 3 out of 10 American adults (31%) are single – meaning they aren’t married, living with a partner, or in a committed relationship.
If you’re looking to date and wondering why a guy is still flying solo (and seems to like it), this article will show you 20 different types of guys who stay single and why.
Understanding these types will help you figure out what to watch for and decide if a guy is a definite no-go.
Here are the 20 Types of Guys Who Stay Single and Why
To paint the picture clearly, we considered a study from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus by Menelaos Apostolou.
The survey anonymously quizzed over 6,700 men on Reddit to find out the 43 most common reasons why men can’t find a partner or stay single.
Along with several polls we’ve run on our socials over time, we’ve been able to sort these reasons into neat categories. Here are the types of guys who stay single and the reasons behind it:
1. The low-effort guys
This one didn’t come as a surprise.
Lots of men admitted in the study that they put little to no effort into wanting or maintaining a relationship.
Some of the men who even interacted with some of our posts on social media say they “weren’t putting themselves out there for potential dates.”
We call these types of guys the low-effort men. They remain single not necessarily because they enjoy the status, but because they don’t put themselves out there to find love. The reason? There are a lot and it varies by individual.
2. The guys with poor flirting skills
Some guys are born flirts, while others struggle big time when it comes to charming the ladies. Blame it on the jitters or just not catching the hints.
So it could be that the guys in this category try shooting their shots when they feel the need to. But they do it in a not-so-smooth way.
Unfortunately, a decent ability to flirt can save you the risk of missing a chance to meet the love of your life.
“When someone flirts with you,” says Gurit Birnbaum, a professor of psychology at Reichman University in Israel “you feel valued, and your perception of your desirability increases.”
3. Guys with bad prior experiences
It is tempting to associate this with the factor of having a recent breakup but that’s a different scenario. It is natural for anyone who is healing from a recent breakup to want to stay in a relationship for a while.
But the guys with bad prior experiences would stay single because they keep judging every date by their past disasters.
How do you spot these guys? For one, you easily sense cynicism and a closed mind.
Truth is, everyone is not the same so we even fear for guys in this category as they may stay single for a long time. If you’re dealing with this kind of guy, you may soon realize that it’s not worth your time as they may not take things to the next level with you.
5. The bitter man
An accumulation of bad prior experiences will result in a guy we call the bitter man.
Just like their female counterparts, the Bitter Man has had one too many rough patches in the dating world and is ready to throw in the towel.
But, unlike the ladies, Bitter Men vent their frustration loudly, making sure everyone hears their “You didn’t dump me, I dumped you!” speech.
They know not all women are like their exes, but the sting of resentment and rejection has hit them so hard that they can’t maintain a healthy relationship, even if they want to.
6. The cranky choosers
Some guys have a very particular checklist for their dates and are ready to spend their whole lives searching for “the one.”
They cherish both their personal and professional lives and are perfectly happy being single with zero fear of loneliness.
Think about it:
- A Ph.D. holder from Princeton with a great physique, a solid income, and an awesome social circle.
- Now imagine the guy who lives a high life with no kids.
- These types of guys will often than not tell you they are “looking for someone at my level.”
Choosy guys like this often end up single for a long time.
7. The guy who is seen as less ‘manly’
Men who end up being single for a long time are often those who feel insecure about their looks—like they’re too bald, short, dark, or frail to fit society’s mold.
They figure women won’t feel their vibe.
While some guys are smooth talkers, flirting can be a nightmare for others, especially if they’re nervous or shy.
As Claire Cain Miller wrote in The New York Times in 2018, there are “many expectations for girls but often just one mold for boys,” seen across Western societies and globally.
These guys might just say, “Screw it!” to romance and stick to being single. Others struggle with things like low cash, not fitting the tough-guy image, disabilities, you name it.
They might just give up on finding love altogether.
8. The workaholics
This is another popular one. If you meet a guy that means well, but his job is his whole world and it’s affecting his chances of getting into a relationship, then he’s probably in this category.
His laser focus on his career has convinced everyone he’s not interested in relationships, but really, it’s just fear holding him back.
From the stories we read, we realize that often the plot is that his ex cheated, so he’s sworn off romance and married his job instead, thinking it’ll never break his heart.
Some guys bury themselves in work to dodge mental health issues and other life dramas.
They end up solo because while chasing success sounds great, in reality, they’re just too wrapped up in themselves.
9. The players
Often hard to detect at the initial stage of going out with them, players are that category of guys that, before committing to anyone, prefer to enjoy their youth and explore their urges with casual flings.
This lifestyle shapes their view on serious relationships and commitment. They’re not confident about long-term romance and see sticking with one person for life as dull and a waste of time.
They’re determined not to miss out on their “player” reputation and having a good time.
This is why it’s not advisable to share all your secrets early with a guy you just started a relationship with.
“If you overshare based on the intensity of the connection,” says marriage and family therapist Brittany “Bree” Jenkins, M.A., LMFT, “you could be courting serious emotional distress if the relationship ends shortly after, or the person decides they’re no longer interested.”
10. The divorced ones or single parents
It’s common for men to stay single after a divorce. After ending a toxic relationship and adjusting to the change, they often need time before jumping into something new.
If they have kids, their focus might shift to parenting rather than dating.
When they do decide to date again, finding someone who can also be a mother figure to their children becomes a priority.
This can be a slow and challenging process, leading them to remain single for an extended period.
11. The single-by-choice guys
For some guys, falling in love just isn’t on their to-do list. Many single-by-choice dudes might even turn down romantic advances. People often think they’re destined to be forever single.
Everyone has different dating preferences, and that’s cool. Some guys want relationships but can’t find the right match.
Being single isn’t always easy, especially for millennials who know the struggle all too well.
12. The guys that are haunted by their past
This is different from having bad past experiences with relationships or being a bitter man. This has more to do with guys who are still wrestling with their emotional baggage and don’t want to face the pain and betrayal again.
Another reason could be unrequited love—they’re too stuck on their past crush to move on or try something new.
These types of guys find it hard to open up to someone new.
13. The immature ones
Also known as a “manchild,” these guys think they want to date someone.
In reality, he’s not looking for a girlfriend; he’s looking for a new mom.
He wants to stay home, play video games all day, have his new mom go to work, come home, cook his favorite chicken casserole (just like his old mom did), and still get the perks of a girlfriend, i.e., lovemaking.
14. The tenants in the Friendzone block
Sometimes, even if a guy is super nice, has a great job, and wants a relationship, women just aren’t into him romantically.
Sure, he’s easy to talk to, but you’d never feel that spark.
It’s not that he isn’t good-looking, but your chemistry just isn’t there. So, he ends up back in the friend zone, yet again.
15. The guy who thinks he has to listen to his parents
Finding a life partner is hard enough, but this guy has the added pressure of his parents’ opinions.
They have a strict idea of their perfect partner. It’s so bad that whenever he’s on a date, it’s like his mom is there too, saying something against it.
16. The married ones who pretend to be single
One of the most common types of guys who stay single is the married guy who lies about being single and keeps stringing other women along.
You will think they have an issue not staying in a committed relationship. But eventually, you’ll realize that they were married all these while but pretended to be single so they could shoot shots at other women.
17. The retro guys
We can’t talk about guys who stay single without bringing up the old-fashioned guys
Today’s women find him too much because he’s stuck in outdated ideas about gender roles and marriage.
This type of guy is uptight and way too controlling. He acts like his woman would be lost without him and thinks he should own her completely.
This leads us to the next point. Some of them are stingy with both emotions and practical support.
Frankly, he’s not interested in a long-term relationship with a woman and, like most MGTOW guys, he doesn’t exactly score high in women’s eyes.
18. The ones that think money solves everything
Take away the extravagant spending, and this guy has nothing else to offer.
To this set of guys, money is like a cure-all for everything. But no one wants a guy who throws money around instead of offering a hug or a shoulder to cry on.
Sadly, this guy has convinced himself that his money makes him superior. So, while his gifts and spending might seem nice on the surface, underneath there’s an ego and condescending vibe that makes you hesitate before accepting.
19. Guys with crippling anxiety
For many guys dealing with anxiety, a committed relationship isn’t the calm oasis people think it is. It feels like too much work, so they just steer clear altogether.
These guys are pretty upfront about it—they’re not interested in a relationship, plain and simple. It’s best to respect that instead of trying to change their minds when they’re feeling threatened.
20. Guys who have planned their lives
Some guys have planned that they are going to do this for 4 to 5 years, and then move on to the next thing.
These types are always followed through.
When a guy like this decides he’s putting relationships on hold to focus on his dreams, he means it. Just like he said.
Often, the best move is to let him be. Even if he eventually warms up to the idea of a relationship, it’s usually not worth pushing for it.
Wrapping Up
This list is not exhaustive. There could be other reasons. A guy might decide to stay single because his love life has been a series of rejections and toxic relationships.
But now that you know the main types of men who choose to stay single, it’ll be easier for you to spot the warning signs and decide if a guy is worth your time or not.
What other reasons have you heard from a guy about why he stays single? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
