People do things for stupid reasons all the time. Even getting married. For many, marriage is a mere contract.
Though they may have gone through the routine of signing papers at a courthouse, repeating the oaths. Certainly the oaths don’t matter to many which is why the divorce rate spiked in the last decade.
This article is not about divorces. It is written on behalf of all the people who have gotten married for the stupidest reasons. If you are one of such folks, this article will resonate.
And if you aren’t, then it will delight you to know the sort of decisions fellow sentients like you are taking under the influence of stupidity.
If you don’t consider 50 stupid reasons enough for an emergency, then let’s go.
50 Of The Stupidest Reasons Why People Got Married
1. To prove a point to her ex
Stupid means dumb. And this one carries one of the most weights on the scale. This lady who got jilted by his boyfriend of six years said yes to a proposal, got married just to prove to her ex she could get another guy at 35.
Their relationship fell through. It was something about a cheating boyfriend and the girl, thinking, “Well, if he can, so can I” went ahead and hooked up with her former boyfriend. They even got married.
2. Because all her friends are getting married
And then there’s always the one lady—because ladies do this more than men—who hitches because all the friends from the neighborhood, college, and the entire state of Arkansas got hitched.
Lucy—well, let’s call her Lucy—has been single forever, it would seem, until Jonah who got back from his tour somewhere in the middle east met her. Jonah, you see, lost something more than his left ear in the middle east.
He lost a screw too. Since he wasn’t busy, and Lucy wasn’t either, hell, why not get married. So they did. Jonah is a good man. But isn’t that a risky thing to do, get married because you’re tired of being single alone?
3. To get a free wedding dress
For the love of God!
You’ve got to believe it though. Tracy got married because she loved the wedding dress so much. Of course, she said, “Yes, Steven! I love you! I will marry you,” when Steven asked her.
But it was for the wedding dress. Oh, and Steven is 73. Tracy was 3 months shy of 24 at the time. By jove! Okay, breath.
Steven has this wedding dress displayed in the townhouse. From what I’d heard, the dress was made by a famous French designer; a gorgeous white dress with sequins, rocks around the neck, and so forth.
I like to think Tracy is waiting for Steven to go to bed one night and just, well, you know.
4. For the sake of a big wedding party
Everyone loves a wedding. Mostly ladies. I like to say, the wedding day is a lady’s most important day.
This is so because of all the people, the dresses, the glamor, and the photos that document the whole shebang.
This woman here got married because she wanted a big wedding party.
She hated her bridesmaid because she was high-key sleeping with Mary’s ex, and she hated that her husband got that weird haircut that made her look like Ragnarok from the series.
But for the size of the party. She loved that it would be a big one, so she said, “Why not?”
5. To please his parents
Parents, uh. Of course. Even though it isn’t 13th century England anymore, some parents still exert a nagging influence on their children’s life.
Take Ralph. He married Judith because his parents thought she was cute and their families “go way back.”
Ralph loved his parents and didn’t want to hurt them so he smiled, and said his vows. One thing about vows? No one remembers them by the next morning.
6. To escape a bad living situation
Bridget from somewhere on the continent of Africa, South Africa to be exact, took the ring because it was the same as a travel passport.
The things a ring can do for you, and the places it can take you!
Let’s just say Bri wanted a better life. Admittedly, marriage can sometimes facilitate this move. In Africa, brides often moved out of her state and followed her groom to wherever love took them.
In Bri’s case, it took her from squalor to paradise because her husband was rich. They’re still rich. Happy marriage.
7. For a green card
For a green card, Nate, 30, a Nigerian—not a Nigerian prince—married a 60 year old Australian single mother.
Talk about stupid and you got this one. Green cards are expensive, and even when they aren’t, it is difficult to find someone willing to give them.
Except you’re willing—if you’re a guy—to be an intimate confidante of a lonely woman abroad. There are actual Facebook groups for this sort of arrangement.
8. Because she got pregnant (without a genuine connection)
This stupid reason isn’t always stupid. In some cultures, when a girl gets pregnant out of wedlock, the parents make the man who’s responsible for it submit to a forced marriage.
If you walk into the garden, be ready to eat the fruit. Cultures in Africa and Asia do this, I think.
But this one didn’t happen in any of those places. It happened in Chicago. Ronnie got a knock on the door one morning and Disney was standing with a pregnancy test results that said she was 3 weeks gone.
The parents weren’t even sure Ronnie was responsible but Disney married him. And they’d known each other for only a month!
9. To feel secure or stable
Security is a stupid reason to marry. Marriage is for companionship. Of course, you’ve got to feel secure in your relationship. But if that’s the only reason you marry for, then what happens when there’s no longer security?
This happened to Sydney who married but dialed a divorce lawyer a year later. She confessed she only married her husband because she wanted “to be secured.” Her words, not mine.
10. To avoid being single at a certain age
Maude was 23 when she married. According to her, she’s got plenty of aunt’s lined up in their 40s who were beginning to gray everywhere without a man.
Her reason wasn’t only hilarious, it was stupid because she left college to fulfill her dream of not being like her aunts.
11. To prove their love on social media
Talk about the Instagram epidemic of showing off. Beth announced her wedding on Facebook, got a few likes and became depressed.
So she got on a bus and rode over to Instagram where she was welcomed heartily. It turned out folks on Instagram weren’t as aloof as the ones on Facebook.
It occurred to her that her skin care business would grow faster if she got married and posted it on Instagram. Beth got her boyfriend to propose and the rest you can see on Instagram.
12. To get a tax break
Tax hack: get married. Eric wanted a tax break so he proposed to his girlfriend even though he knew he wasn’t ready—he was still in college and not quite done with late nights at clubs.
Lizzy, his wife soon found out the marriage was all a ruse to get away from giving Caesar his dues.
13. Because they’re bored
Yes, quite a few people have jumped in a suit or dress to marry because they needed some excitement in their life.
Many of them remain undocumented but I found this screenshot on a Facebook comment section. She mentioned that she regretted getting married. She thought it would all be fun and games.
14. To have a “plus one” for events
Couple goals—this is what it’s called in today’s social media era. The fancy and glamor associated with marriage is why some say yes to the proposal.
The aesthetics of it, the allure can make a girl begin to dream dreams, and see visions. This happened to Emily.
When her marriage ended she admitted that Sam was handsome and she just wanted to be seen with him at parties and events they were invited to.
15. To gain access to her partner’s wealth
Wealth is another stupid motivation for a lot of people today—sadly ‘mostly’ refers to women. It’s connected to the desire for security, of a financial nature.
This is more common than we want to admit. Rhoda admitted to dating and marrying her husband because he was “from money.”
The marriage lasted a year and half because the “money” belonged to her husband’s dad, and the old man wasn’t sharing.
16. To spite an ex
Again, some commit the stupid treason of marrying to spite someone, most times, an ex. This is what Cole did.
He was so hurt by his breakup with Britney, his former girlfriend that he decided to get married to show her he could find someone better than her.
Yeah, and the woman he married was nothing like Britney, the woman was worse than Britney.
17. To feel important or special
Marriage means you’ve been chosen by someone for life. At least, this is what it used to mean. Gladly, a lot of folks still think of marriage in this way.
The sharp rise in the divorce statistics show a large number of men and women have lost faith in the institution.
Perhaps marrying solely because they want to feel special is why some end up disillusioned and then divorce. Sally in a Twitter post admitted to this in her case.
18. To get a free honeymoon
Why would someone get married because they want a free honeymoon? They have to be stupid, you’d say. And you’re right. Gwen from East Africa ran away from home to marry her white boyfriend.
Then she posted about the expensive honeymoon telling everyone she only left home for the honeymoon and would be back in her country shortly.
19. Because they’re afraid of being alone
There’s being bored, and then there’s being afraid to be alone. We don’t know much about how this works but a tweep posted about this on Twitter when she said she was afraid of being alone in her place so she got married.
20. To have a “partner in crime”
These were Damien’s words on his Twitter—”I needed a partner in crime so I married my high school sweetheart.” Good thing it wasn’t some random babe he found on the street while running early in the morning.
What crime did he need a partner for? He never mentioned but we hope it’s not the sort that has the cops checking up on him.
21. To get a free place to live
This is stupid because what’s wrong with your own place? And was that part of the vows she repeated to the preacher at the church?
“To have a free place to live.”
Has marriage lost that much value in thine eyes, O lady? I found this on almighty Twitter too.
22. To have someone to do chores with
Chores??
What a stupid reason to want to get married. Don’t get me wrong. Chores are great, and doing them with your partner is Uber cool.
But what’s wrong with marrying for love? Anyways, it happened and Lily Aguilar on Twitter posted this was her reason for getting married. And yeah, we love a partner that enjoys doing chores, especially a man.
23. To gain a sense of control
Cameron from Oregon said this on his social media. His opinion is that it’s not a great marriage if you can’t control your wife.
We don’t know what he meant, he didn’t elaborate on control. But his comment section exploded; feminists tore him apart hauling curses on the patriarchy.
Some even called him a pedophile. Whew. Cameron, you can’t marry to gain a sense of control. That’s so wrong.
24. To have a “built-in” date for Valentine’s Day
Irma posted this on Twitter. She meant that she married so she never has to worry about a Valentine date. Her husband will always be her Valentine for there’s no need to forage the street or tinder.
On the surface, this isn’t a terrible thing to want from your marriage. But it’s such a stupid reason to marry. Irma, does your husband know you married him because you suck at getting Valentine’s Day dates.
25. To get a free gift registry
This reason is funny—stupid, yes. But funny all the same. What do you mean free gift registry, Susie? She didn’t elaborate on her meaning when she posted this on her Twitter.
There were a few laughs in the comment section of that tweet. Perhaps for Susie, the registry is like Santa’s gift shop. Instead of gifts wrapped in boxes, you get a husband.
26. To get a free personal assistant
This is funny too, borderline stupid as well. It came through the lips of a girl called Savannah on social media.
Her stupid reason for getting married was because she wanted a personal assistant who works for free. You know, taking out the trash, trimming the hedges and lifting heavy things.
27. Because they’re tired of swiping left
This lady simply got tired of swiping left on tinder. She didn’t say if she eventually married someone from that popular partner farm or not but what we know is, her reason is stupid.
I’m curious to know what manner of husband she got and how the marriage is going.
28. To gain access to their partner’s Netflix password
Of all the reasons, it had to be this. This one is from Twitter too.
Although, the tweep didn’t say his reason for getting married in these exact words, it was along the lines of needing access to his girlfriend’s passwords without a fight. Marriage solved that problem.
29. To have a “built-in” workout buddy
Fay loves working out. She has photos of her working out in the gym, and in one of them her husband was with her.
In a different post she mentioned that one of her reasons for getting married was because going to the gym alone had become a chore.
Fay, I’m here to tell you going to the gym will always be a chore.
30. To prove her love to their Instagram followers
This one was found on Instagram. It is beyond stupid but borders on insanity. Never thought anyone would get married because they need to validate their feelings for social media followers.
31. To get a free travel companion
Travel companion? You’d think you’ve seen it all and then someone comes up to the ante. Someone on social media actually said this about their marriage.
The man this tweet was about is likely wealthy and spends their time in exotic places all the time.
32. Because she’s afraid of being single during the holidays
The holidays? Oh yeah, let’s get married, Kane. What’d you think? Now we will never be lonely during the holidays.
I had a strong suspicion that the lady in this tweet was an introverted college girl before she met her husband.
33. To have someone to blame for their problems
“Yeah, I blame you, Harry. For everything since we married. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s your fault.”
I imagine the conversation went this way in Lexie’s head as she repeated her vows, then tossed the bouquet over head.
34. To gain a sense of superiority over their single friends
This is one hell of a stupid reason to get married because it feels “immature”. But you’d be surprised how, low-key, many people think marriage makes them superior.
And maybe it is, considering the responsibilities. What do I know?
35. To get a free home cook
There’s a cultural ring to this reason, at least in some countries. I’m reluctant to say it’s a stupid reason for fear of disrespecting our foreign audience.
It’s understandable for cultures where men work all day out of the home and women are stay-at-home mothers. If you are European or live in the west, you don’t get a pass. No sir.
36. Because they’re trying to “settle down” early
Time can be a factor in some places of the world as well. It can also constitute a stupid reason someone might decide to get married, especially if they make an arbitrary choice.
Some men and women marry right after college, or even before college.
37. To have a “plus one” for family gatherings
Family influence is also a consideration when choosing a mate. It’s as important as other considerations.
However, getting married solely because you need someone to come with you to those family gatherings on Fourth of July or Thanksgiving is high-key stupid.
38. To get a free dog walker
Maybe this person doesn’t like dog walking. And that’s okay. I’m sure there are kids in the neighborhood who are more than willing to walk your dog for you for a fee.
Apparently, this lady here married his boyfriend because he liked her dog and can now walk the animal for free.
39. To prove their commitment to their partner’s family
Once again, family and relations are important to a spouse’s marriage. But should this be the primary consideration when getting married?
The tweet below is from someone who married because they wanted to prove to their partner’s family they’re committed.
40. To gain access to their partner’s social connections
Yeah, this too. This happens too often where people get married because they need the connection the marriage will expose them to. Here’s a tweet by someone to prove this.
41. Because they’re trying to “fix” their partner
Every once in a while a person marriesu their partner in the hopes that it’s the best thing for the partner.
It’s like a lifelong therapy rather than a marriage. It’s a stupid reason because marriage doesn’t fix anyone.
42. To have someone to control or manipulate
This is the worst reason to marry. But strangely, we have people doing this all the time. But why? Well, it’s a complicated issue. It’s a sign of a deep-seated narcissism.
43. To get a free therapist
Granted, partners are each other’s therapists in a way. However, you don’t marry for this specific reason. You’re only going to ruin the other person’s mental health too.
44. Because she’s afraid of being alone with her thoughts
This was a reason someone gave for getting married. As much as we must agree that companionship is one of the core elements of marriage, putting it this way makes it sound like a stupid reason.
45. To have a “built-in” shopping buddy
Another built-in post about marriage from Twitter. This time this fellow says she married because she needed a shopping buddy. You won’t be shopping every minute of the marriage, will you?
46. To get a free tech support specialist
When she put it this way, it’s a stupid reason to marry just because you need someone to help you with your computer whenever you need assistance. There’s some cuteness to marrying a tech bro though.
47. Because she’s trying to relive her parents’ marriage
If the parent’s marriage was examplary, you can understand why a person would want theirs to be aa good.
The fault with this reasoning is, your spouse is a different person from your parents. It would be unfair to expect them to be like your parents.
48. To gain access to their partner’s wealth and status
There’s some entitlement here. But it’s how some marriages are. Getting married for the money and fame is not unheard of.
In fact, many unions are consummated on the altar of—money. As shown below in the tweet.
49. To have someone to take care of her when she’s sick
“In sickness and health” goes the vows so you may be tempted to excuse this reason for getting married. But it isn’t really a good reason because it reeks of selfishness.
50. To get a free personal photographer
A pleasant reason but stupid all the same. If you love taking pictures a lot it is understandable why you’d be concerned that your spouse loves doing the same. But it shouldn’t be the reason you marry.
Final Thoughts
Marriage is a serious business, a contract backed by law. Vows are taken and both spouses are expected to stand by their words. This hasn’t stopped the increase of divorces.
Perhaps if prospecting partners take their time to consider their reasons for getting married, we’d see some improvements.
