Maybe you’ve gone on a few dates with this guy, already in a relationship, or married even.
Then from your observations, he avoids serious conversations, hates responsibility, refuses to grow up, and is too sensitive to criticism. These are the signs of a man-child.
But it doesn’t end there.
Some signs are not so obvious. In this article, you will learn about 15 different signs that show you’re dealing with a man-child and the things you should do (and not do) to help the situation.
15 Telltale Signs of a Man-child
Generally, as a man grows, he’s expected to have planning in all aspects of life. But when you notice that you often pick up the slack, then it’s valid to start having these questions in your mind.
But before you jump to a conclusion, check if he does any of these things:
1. He doesn’t take responsibility
One of the common signs that a guy is a man-child is when he often blames others for his problems and never admits when he’s wrong.
This means he avoids admitting when he’s wrong or dealing with important tasks. Instead of fixing problems or making decisions, he can begin to blame others or make excuses.
Interestingly enough, it shows in small actions like keeping promises or helping out when needed.
I’ve heard a story of how a man, let’s call him Uche, forgot to pay his rent on time. Instead of admitting he forgot and fixing the problem, he blames his roommate for not reminding him.
That’s exactly what I mean by not taking responsibility.
2. Bad with money
Does he spend money carelessly and often need you to help him out? If yes, then that’s another sign that he’s a man-child.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about spending money on fun things. But when he does this repeatedly at the detriment of important stuff like bills, then it’s a problem.
He would often need others to help when they ran out of money. This can hurt relationships and make it hard for them to take care of themselves.
Adults manage money wisely by budgeting for what they need first. If someone spends recklessly, it shows they avoid grown-up responsibilities. That’s why it’s a sign of being a man-child.
3. He throws tantrums
Another sign of a man-child is if he gets upset and acts like a child during arguments.
Instead of solving problems calmly, he would often yell, slam doors, or argue loudly.
In a recent conversation I had with a friend, Sarah, she complained about this issue done by her fiance.
Whenever he loses a match in his game, he throws the controller on the floor, shouts angrily, and accuses his friend of cheating instead of accepting the loss gracefully, Sarah says.
This behavior is common in children who haven’t learned to control their emotions yet. Adults are expected to handle tough situations calmly and talk things through.
4. He still relies on his parents (or mommy’s boy)
There’s nothing bad about asking your parents for help. But when he unashamedly depends on his parents for money, decisions, and everyday needs even as an adult, then he’s a man-child.
An important sign of maturity is when you begin to get things done on your own.
A red flag is when he insists you move into his mother’s house to save money—because she allows him to live at her place, rent-free, says Dr. Sherrie Sims Allen, relationship strategist at The Allen Group.
If he always has to turn to his parents to take care of himself and make choices, then you’re dealing with a man-child.
When a man keeps depending on his parents, it means he hasn’t grown up fully or taken responsibility for his own life.
It can also make others see him as immature or unable to stand on his own feet.
5. He avoids commitment
Is he scared of long-term plans, whether it’s about relationships or work? It can also be a sign that he’s a man-child.
It usually shows in any of these ways:
- When a man avoids commitment and is always afraid of taking on responsibilities
- He shies away from making decisions that require effort and dedication.
Unfortunately, this behavior can hold him back from growing personally and achieving stability in life.
More than other signs, this one can even affect your relationship with him because you may feel unsure about his reliability or seriousness.
6. Poor hygiene
If he doesn’t take care of basic cleanliness without being reminded, then you may be dealing with a man-child.
Poor hygiene can affect attraction and physical intimacy, but communication as well, as it can become a source of regular conflict, says Kurt Smith, a therapist in Roseville, California, who specializes in counseling men.
He doesn’t have to be as hygienic as Mark Henry, but behaviors like not showering often, forgetting to brush teeth, or wearing dirty clothes are telltale signs.
When someone doesn’t bother with hygiene, it can make them seem childish or like they can’t handle grown-up responsibilities.
7. No life goals
The idea is to look at his behavior and ask yourself if these are things that are typical for children. Does he lack ambition and is happy to stay where he is in life?
It could be a sign of being a man-child.
If he’s truly a mature man, he should think about what he wants to achieve in life, like jobs, education, or things they enjoy doing.
When someone lacks life goals, it can mean they’re not thinking about their future seriously.
I always tell my mentees that:
- Goals give direction to keep moving forward in life. Without them, a man can be stuck or unsure about what they want to do, which shows they’re not fully becoming an adult.
8. Irresponsible behavior
If the guy acts recklessly, like partying too much or using substances, then that’s a man-child sign showing.
Of course, people are different and it could be his natural trait to be a razz person. But a good way to differentiate this from irresponsibility is by looking out for the toxic trio.
The toxic trio are weed, video games, and porn.
If he not only dabbles into any of these three activities but also actively uses them to zone out for many hours at a time, then you’re dealing with a man-child.
In many cases, the childish man would use these toxic trio to avoid intimacy, whether physically or emotionally.
This brings us to the next sign.
9. He’s emotionally distant and probably doesn’t know it.
A man-child would find it hard to talk about feelings. He will often avoid emotional talks.
When someone is emotionally distant, it can make them seem immature or like they don’t understand how to connect deeply with others.
I like how dating coach and matchmaker expert Nelly Sudri describes this situation.
She says, Typically, emotionally unavailable people shut down in moments of vulnerability and get defensive when confronted about their emotions.
Does it look like he hasn’t learned how to express himself or be there for people in a mature way? That’s a man-child right there.
If he stays emotionally distant, it can mean that he’s still learning how to handle emotions like a grown-up.
10. He puts his own needs first and doesn’t think about others
If he often thinks only about himself and doesn’t think about how his actions affect others, then you’re likely dealing with a man-child.
When someone is selfish, it shows they’re more focused on their own needs or wants without caring about how others feel.
If he acts selfishly, it can mean he’s still learning how to be thoughtful and responsible in his interactions with others.
Unfortunately, this can be another relationship killer because you now have to be the one making all the compromises and giving in the relationship. He’s not forward-thinking or thoughtful enough to give in time, resources, or money to help you both.
11. His childish interests get the better of him
Observe if he’s still obsessed with things kids like, especially if he does so while ignoring adult responsibilities.
It’s even necessary for us as mature adults to connect with our inner child once in a while. But when he’s still obsessed with child interest, he’s probably still a man-child.
These child interests can be any of the following:
- Toys
- Games
- Cartoons that are usually enjoyed by children (no hate to animes)
When someone’s stuck on childish stuff, it shows they might not be focusing on grown-up responsibilities or activities.
It’s a sign that he’s not growing out of things that are more suited for kids.
If he lets childish interests control him, it suggests he’s not fully growing up and taking on adult roles and interests.
12. Can’t do chores
There are plenty of women who complain about how their man can’t even help around the house.
If the guy avoids or can’t handle basic tasks like cooking and cleaning, then he’s a man-child.
One of my favorite quotes from relationship author Sarah McDugal is “Each partner is using whatever power they do have for the betterment, the protection and the uplifting of the other partner and the home and family as a whole.”
A man-child would expect others to handle these tasks for them, which shows they haven’t fully grown up.
Avoiding chores can even cause problems in the relationship and show that he’s not acting maturely.
Even when they help around the house with cooking, cleaning, or laundry, they do it reluctantly.
If you always have to bribe or give compensation to him for performing tasks that are simply a routine part of keeping a home, then he’s a man-child.
13. He’s manipulative
Does he rick people to get what he wants? He’s most likely a man-child, especially if he does this often by acting like a victim.
This behavior shows he hasn’t learned how adults should communicate and solve problems fairly.
A mature person would talk openly and respectfully, not manipulate others.
If he often uses manipulation to get his way, it means he’s not handling situations in a grown-up manner.
14. He hates criticism and doesn’t handle it well
Another way you can tell that a guy is a man-child is when he gets very defensive and angry when criticized.
He would get upset or defensive when someone points out his mistakes.
As we grow up, we should be able to listen to criticism without getting angry and use it to get better.
Whether you are taking criticism or giving it, critiques can be uncomfortable, awkward, and even painful, says Art Jackson, Performance Management Coach in his LinkedIn post.
If he can’t handle criticism, it shows he’s not grown-up enough to learn from his mistakes or admit when he’s wrong.
As a result of this, you will also notice that he struggles to work well with others or solve problems.
This is why a man-child person is always failing to keep a job.
15. Always looking for ways to escape reality
He prefers playing video games or watching movies over dealing with real-life problems.
It’s one of the common things that man-child does.
What To Do When You’re Dealing With A Man-child
The best way to handle your guy if he’s a man-child is to be proactive instead of reactive.
If you’re asking these questions, you’re either worried about what others think (why bother?) or you’re worried your man isn’t good enough for you.
Just raising the question means it has been on your mind for a while.
- First, be independent. You don’t need to act like his mom, nagging and talking to him like a parent. That will only make things worse.
- Also, don’t make excuses for him all the time. This will give him the idea that his behavior is okay with you.
- Be open with your partner and talk to him about it. Clearly explain what bothers you. He can’t read your mind, and it’s not fair to expect him to. Use your words.
- If you’ve tried to help him change in small ways but nothing has worked, you need to ask yourself what you like about this guy.
- If it comes down to it, you might have to face the issue of compatibility and make a tough decision.
Wrapping Up
Does he show a lot of these signs? If so, you’re dealing with a man-child.
Even if he only has a few of these traits you still think he’s a man-child, trust me, there are many other small signs to watch for. You’re not alone.
Many women over 30 in this thread have shared various signs they noticed to confirm their husbands are man-children.
