I understand your confusion about your relationship. Deciding whether it’s anxiety or a real need to break up is tough.
Even with my four years of counseling experience, there’s no simple answer.
Everyone’s situation is different, but there are common signs that can help you decide if ending the relationship is the right choice.
You will be convinced that it’s time to break up when you feel obligated to stay with your partner, your needs aren’t being met, and you’re seeking those needs from others.
But it doesn’t end there. Continue reading to learn more so that you can end up making a well-informed and the right action towards your relationship.
25 Great Signs It’s Time to Break Up And Move On
Some people would tell you that the moment you find yourself asking this question is enough sign that you should leave.
But sometimes, intrusive thoughts are not enough to take such an action.
Here are some of the real indicators you can consider to weigh your decision:
1. When you’re being abused
If you’re in an abusive relationship, it’s really important to get help and consider leaving for your safety and well-being.
If your partner hurts you physically, mentally, or emotionally, it’s a sign of serious trouble.
Abuse means they’re treating you badly, making you feel scared or worthless.
No one deserves to be mistreated.
2. When the trust is no longer there
No trust in a relationship means you can’t count on your partner to be honest or reliable. Once it drops greatly, then it’s a telltale sign that the relationship is nosediving.
In Denmark, a 2019 controlled trial study found a lack of sympathy, trust, and respect as the top reasons for divorce.
Trust is very important for feeling safe and happy together. Without it, the relationship becomes stressful and unhealthy.
This makes you feel worried and insecure, always doubting their actions and words.
If trust is gone and can’t be fixed, it’s better to break up. Moving on helps both of you find a relationship where you can feel secure and happy again.
3. Feeling unappreciated
If your partner consistently makes you feel unimportant and this doesn’t change, it’s a sign to break up and find someone who truly values and appreciates you.
Feeling unappreciated in a relationship means your partner doesn’t value or acknowledge your efforts and qualities.
This can make you feel invisible, unloved, and unhappy.
When appreciation is missing, it leads to frustration and resentment. It makes the relationship feel one-sided and unfair.
4. Feeling distant
Feeling distant in a relationship means you and your partner aren’t as close anymore.
You might not talk much or share your feelings like you used to. This distance can make you feel lonely and disconnected.
“An emotionally unavailable person has a hard time receiving love and other deep emotions from others,” says Alyson Cohen, LCSW, a therapist for teenagers, young adults, and couples based in New York City.
If you’re always feeling distant and efforts to get closer don’t help, it’s another sign that it’s time to end the relationship.
5. Less communication, even when it’s needed
When you and your partner don’t talk enough, especially about important things that matter, it’s a sign of trouble.
Avoiding discussions can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Good relationships need open communication to work well.
If you find it hard to talk about important stuff or if conversations often end badly, it might mean you’re not connecting anymore.
Unfortunately, this is not the kind of thing you can force. While you can actively work on improving communication with your partner, you will easily know when it’s heading to nowhere.
6. When you can’t see a future together
There’s a popular meme on X (formerly Twitter) that says “There’s a way someone will treat you and you’ll just know this can’t be the love of your life.”
I reckon with this maxim because a breakup becomes a logical action to take when you can’t see the person in your future.
This can be due to their kind of personality, values, or ambitions in life.
Also, if you want something serious that will lead to marriage, and the person doesn’t share the same idea, then what’s the point of struggling to keep the frailing relationship?
7. Different life goals
Another sign you can check to confirm if you should break up and move on is when you both keep fighting about your plans or feel like you’re not moving forward together.
Having different life goals means you and your partner want different things in life. It could be where to live, what jobs to have, or whether to have kids.
When these goals don’t match, it can cause arguments and unhappiness.
A good relationship works best when both people want similar things for the future. So it’s better to be with someone with the same goals.
8. When you’re unhappy most of the time with them, and find the happiness in someone else
If you’re feeling unhappy most of the time with your partner and you find yourself happier with someone else, it probably means your relationship isn’t making you feel good anymore.
You might be looking for happiness outside of your relationship because you’re not getting it from your partner.
This is a sign that it could be time to end things and find a relationship that makes you feel happy and supported.
When a relationship doesn’t make you happy and you find joy elsewhere, it’s a clear signal that it might be best to move on.
9. No Respect
Respect is important because it shows that both people care about each other’s feelings and opinions.
When there’s no respect in your relationship, it means your partner doesn’t treat you well.
When there’s no respect, it’s a sign that the relationship might not be good for you anymore, and it could be time to end it for your happiness.
10. When they have controlling behavior and you feel obligated to be with them
When your partner tries to control you or your actions, it can make you feel like you have to do what they say, even if you don’t want to.
This controlling behavior can be suffocating and take away your freedom to make your own choices.
If this controlling thing makes you feel obligated to stay with them, then it isn’t healthy.
If this sounds like your situation, it might be time to think about ending the relationship for your happiness and freedom.
11. When there’s no more intimacy
It’s not until you both do not have intercourse for long before you conclude that there’s no intimacy. It shows in the little gestures.
Intimacy, like hugging, kissing, and sharing feelings, is important for closeness and bonding.
If it’s missing, it could mean there are issues like communication problems or emotional distance.
If trying to bring back closeness doesn’t work, it could mean the relationship isn’t making you happy anymore. That’s when it might be time to think about moving on.
12. When the lies become frequent
When your partner frequently lies to you, it breaks the trust between you two. It’s worse when they even try to gaslight you and it happens frequently.
When lies happen often, it shows there might be bigger problems like dishonesty or not respecting your feelings.
It can hurt and make you doubt what’s real.
If trust keeps getting broken, it might mean the relationship isn’t good for you anymore, and ending it could be the right choice for your happiness.
13. When you feel alone even in their presence
If you often feel lonely or ignored even when they’re around, it could mean they’re not meeting your emotional needs.
Relationships should make you feel connected and cared for.
Feeling alone when you’re together means you might not feel supported or understood by your partner.
So this is another valid sign that you can use to take your action.
14. Always fighting
Constant fighting is a sign it’s time to break up because it means you and your partner can’t agree on important things.
This creates stress and unhappiness, making it hard to enjoy being together.
Instead of feeling supported and loved, you feel drained and upset. Over time, this damages your mental and emotional health.
A healthy relationship should bring joy and comfort, not constant conflict.
If fighting is the norm, it may be best for both of you to move on and find happiness elsewhere.
15. When they’re constantly hurting your mental health
When your partner keeps making you feel sad or stressed all the time, it’s really bad for your mental health.
A healthy relationship should make you feel happy and supported, not upset.
If your partner’s actions or words are always making you feel bad about yourself or hurting your feelings, it might mean the relationship isn’t good for you anymore.
It’s a contributing sign that breaking up and finding a better situation for yourself is the right thing to do.
16. Cheating
If your partner cheats and you can’t trust them anymore, it’s really hard to make the relationship work.
About 94 percent of people surveyed in recent research by USA Network (via Time) say they would rather never get married than end up with a person they knew would cheat on them.
It might be better to end things rather than stay in a situation where you feel hurt and can’t rely on your partner anymore.
17. When you constantly see indicators of Incompatibility
When you keep noticing things that show you and your partner don’t fit well together, like arguments that don’t go away or having different plans for the future, it means you might not be right for each other.
If these problems don’t get fixed and you feel like you’re not happy or growing together anymore, breaking up could be the best choice.
18. They don’t (or no longer) support you
When your partner stops helping or caring about you when you need it, it’s a sign they might not be there for you anymore.
This lack of support can make you feel alone and unimportant.
At this junction, it’s valid to think that breaking up will make you happier and feel better about yourself.
19. Same problems over and over
There’s no relationship without one problem arising or the other.
But couples that are truly going somewhere together will find ways to solve them and make a commitment not to return to those problems.
When this pattern continues without improvement, it might mean you’re stuck in a cycle that’s not healthy for either of you.
So it’s another clear sign that nothing is working and you both would probably grow best when apart.
20. You’re the one always making compromises
If you feel like you’re always the one giving in and making sacrifices in your relationship, it means things are uneven.
If it’s always you giving up what you want without getting much back, it can make you feel upset over time.
So when you reflect on this, it’s surely going to give you more reasons why your breakup decision is a valid one.
21. Your family and friends are worried
When people close to you, like family and friends, start expressing concerns about your relationship, it’s a sign to take seriously.
Their concern could mean it’s time to think about moving on for your well-being.
They care about you and want the best for you.
Sometimes, they can see things from an outside perspective that you might miss when you’re in the relationship.
Their worries might be because they see you unhappy, or they notice things that aren’t healthy in the relationship.
22. You even now get annoyed by the cute things they do
When you find yourself irritated by the little things your partner does that used to make you smile, it might mean your feelings have shifted.
In a healthy relationship, those small actions should still bring you joy.
Sure, it’s not the only sign you need to see to conclude that you’ve fallen out of love. But it’s a sign that your bond might not be as strong as it once was.
23. More bad days than good
If bad days happen more often than good ones, it could mean it’s time to think about moving on for your happiness.
It’s that simple.
Yes, relationships do have their bad days.
But if arguments and sadness dominate your time together, it suggests the relationship isn’t making you feel good anymore.
24. Money fights
While this still bothers the incompatibility situation, frequent quarrels about money in your relationship are often a byproduct of deeper issues.
If these fights happen a lot and don’t get better, it might mean you both don’t understand each other’s money goals.
This can lead to feeling upset and stressed. It’s one of the valid factors you can consider while thinking of a breakup.
25. When your gut feeling says it’s over
When you have a strong feeling inside that tells you the relationship isn’t right anymore, that’s your gut feeling.
If you always feel unsure or unhappy, even after trying to fix things, it’s another clear indication that the relationship isn’t good for you anymore.
Final Thoughts: Here’s How You Evaluate Your Judgement
It’s normal to second-guess yourself about decisions like breaking up. If you’ve looked at the twenty-five signs mentioned earlier, you should already have a clearer picture.
Here are some questions to help you reflect and decide if breaking up is the right choice for you and your relationship:
- Am I seeing everything through a negative lens?
- Should I be more compassionate or forgiving?
- Do we seem to be on the path to recovery?
- Do I feel guilty about him being sad and lost if I leave? Does this guilt mean I shouldn’t leave?
- How much will I regret this?
- Is this decision in my best interest and the best interest of the relationship?
Remember to be honest with yourself when answering these questions.
As mentioned earlier, there is no easy answer to these situations. If you feel your situation is unique and you need more help, feel free to reach out to us via email.
One of our relationship experts will offer personalized advice.
Take care.
