Your relationship has been sailing beautifully and then all of a sudden your girlfriend’s behavior towards you changes. You begin to wonder and feel confused over the sudden change.
She no longer cares about your feelings, she gives you attitude, and even when you try to talk to her about it, she remains unbothered and it seems like you have lost your woman.
Has this happened to you before and it has led you to question yourself because you have been a good boyfriend to her?
So many things could be the reasons for her meanness towards you, it could be that you have hurt her in the past, and maybe she forgave you but never trusted you again.
Sometimes you are not even the cause of it, it might just be that she is stressed from going through hard times.
We know this can be very hurting, when the person you love treats you badly, well that shouldn’t be the end of your relationship, and that is why this article is here to show you reasons why your girlfriend is mean to you and ways to help you handle the situation or know when it’s time to walk away.
25 Powerful Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Is Mean To You
We should be aware that people are prone to changing, it’s part of human nature and when we notice a sudden change in our partner’s behavior that we don’t like, we shouldn’t be quick to react negatively but take out time to find out the reason why they are acting differently.
Let’s See The Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Is Mean To You.
- She has gotten tired of the relationship
- Jealousy
- She doesn’t value the relationship
- She is seeking for your attention
- Her past experiences
- Mood swings
- Your girlfriend is possessive
- You are the reason
- She is no longer happy in the relationship
- Personal issue
- She has lost interest in you
- Your girlfriend is a people pleaser
- Lack of trust
- She wants to end the relationship
- Your girlfriend is actually a mean person
- She is comparing you with other men
- You have invaded her space
- Compatibility
- She is insecure
- She wants to pay you back
- She doesn’t feel loved
- Mental health/Depression
- Stress
- Communication problems and misunderstanding
- She has developed feelings for someone else
She has gotten tired of the relationship
When your girlfriend becomes tired of the relationship her attitude towards you will change, you will notice that she will become rude, with words and actions and put up an I don’t care attitude.
She will nag and criticize you at any slightest problem and even blame you for everything wrong both In her life and in the relationship.
Another thing that can also show you that your girlfriend is no longer feeling what you both share is withdrawal, both in intimacy, physically, and also in communication. She avoids your touch, she is no longer comfortable when you try to kiss her and finds excuses or gives you an irritating look.
You also see that your usually talkative girlfriend has suddenly gone quiet, one annoying thing she can do is agree with everything you say especially when she is the type that expresses her opinions.
Being tired of a relationship is a powerful reason that can make her mean to you, and you can help by giving her space at that moment and still keep in touch, show her your affection through words and also discuss it with her, tell her how it affecting you both and listen to her feelings attentively, so you can identify the problem.
And then give her time to figure things out on her own. Chances are that she might change but if she doesn’t then you should walk away.
Jealousy
Jealousy is another powerful reason why your girlfriend is mean to you, fear of rejection, insecurity, lack of trust, and even how you relate with other people can make your girlfriend jealous.
When you begin to interact more with others or give them the same energy that you give her, it can lead to anxiety and can cause a negative reaction from her.
Often it might just be that you are an over-friendly person, but you should learn how to handle this and know when to stop.
This can cause her to become moody and she begins to give you an irritating attitude, also she might become possessive and this can make her controlling and aggressive to not just you but other people you relate with.
She doesn’t value the relationship
Once you are in a one-sided relationship and your girlfriend doesn’t love you like you do to her then she will treat you badly.
She will always let you know that she doesn’t feel the same way and is probably with you out of pity or the fact that she is enjoying the feeling of being loved by you.
This will make her control you because she knows the power she has over you. She might even be in the relationship for what she is benefiting from you and doesn’t care about your feelings.
When a woman doesn’t value her relationship with you, you will find her often disrespecting you, talking down at you, and giving you the silent treatment, she will always be occupied with one thing or the other and will never present for you.
She is seeking your attention
Another cause that can make your girlfriend mean to you is seeking attention. Sometimes times this can come from the feeling of being neglected, even being possessive too, or Just because she wants you to be always around her, she might begin to throw tantrums, give you an unnecessarily annoying attitude, nag at you always, and constantly want to cause or escalate troubles, to get you to be with her.
Most times this could be from her upbringing, she might have grown up In an environment where she only got care whenever there was a problem, this might affect her behavior and cause her to be a bone in the throat.
Her past experiences
Your girlfriend’s past experiences could be the reason she is mean to you because of her past experience. As I stated in the number above her upbringing can affect her behavior especially if she is raised in a toxic family, as well as her past bad relationships.
Maybe she wasn’t used to being loved properly by her exes and then you begin to treat her rightly, instead of reciprocating the same treatment, you find her being mean to you, it could be that she is afraid of getting hurt again and becomes guarded, have trust issues and then want to be in charge.
A woman who still carries hurt, and anger from her past relationship will find it difficult to have emotional stability.
Either she takes out her resentment on her new partner or constantly needs reassurance making the relationship tiring.
Another way in which experience can affect your new relationship badly is dating a spoiled partner. If your girlfriend is used to getting everything she wants in the past and she enters into a new relationship where those needs aren’t met, it can cause her to have a cold attitude towards you.
Mood swings
According to Mayoclinic, it is estimated that 3 out of 4 menstruating women deal with some form of premenstrual syndrome, swinging of moods, depression, etc.
And all these symptoms can cause your girlfriend to develop a behavior change especially when you don’t understand her.
She might take out her pain on you, shout at you, or don’t even want you around her. In this situation, you don’t have to run, but be patient and emotionally present, it’s just her hormones messing with her and she will come back to her old self. After this period, both of you can discuss how to help during that time of the month.
Other things like stress, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and body fatigue can also cause her mood swings and she might take out her frustration on you.
Your girlfriend is possessive
The need to have you all to herself can make your girlfriend mean to you. Sometimes the root causes can come from obsession, jealousy, or insecurities.
Your girlfriend might be afraid that if you are close to other people you might forget about her or she will be angry whenever she sees you with another girl especially when she feels threatened.
The need to protect her relationship can eventually lead her to become overbearing and constantly questioning all your movements. When your girlfriend becomes too attached to you it can make her manipulative.
She begins to use guilt, or threatening behaviors to control you and this can lead to a toxic relationship for you and it is not even advisable to be with a possessive partner.
You are the reason
One reason that can make your girlfriend resentful is You. Most of the time we make promises and forget to keep them.
You might have said or done something that hurt her feelings before, and when she brought it up you waved it, it could even be that you forgot an important date, and you didn’t help to do the little she asked you to do.
The only way to find out this is when you ask her, and if she tells you, that might not apologize immediately, don’t go making excuses. your actions, if she is an easygoing woman a simple sincere sorry would calm the storm.
If your girlfriend says you are the reason for her behavior and when you ask her, she tells you don’t worry. You should worry and go ask her friends.
They will know what you have done or have been doing that got her so upset with you. Like I said earlier, apologize and try not to repeat the same mistakes.
She is no longer happy in the relationship
This is one powerful reason your girlfriend has become mean to you; it could be that she is unhappy in the relationship.
And so many things can cause this. From neglect, lack of emotional intimacy, poor communication, lack of support, not meeting expectations and so many other factors.
But do you also know that too much compromise can make her unhappy especially when she is the one who has to make the most sacrifices?
She leaves her work because you said you don’t like it, she pauses her dreams just to be with you, she leaves her environment and moves in with you, and she might even have to change her religion for you all of this at first might be easy for her to do because she is overhead heels in love with you.
But in the long run, she might become unhappy especially when she sees other women doing what she dreamt of and still married or in a healthy relationship, it can make her lose her self-esteem and feel lost.
All these can even make her jealous of you, when you are the only one getting promoted, achieving your goals, and going places and she is just feeling stuck in one place. Gradually she will start to vent her anger and frustration at you, and you may lose your relationship if one is not careful.
Personal issue
This is where understanding is key. Going through life these days is not an easy thing. Life has gotten more complicated than usual and most days can be overwhelming.
It could be that she is even confused about the next step and that she just wants to pour out her disappointment at you.
Some ladies who are used to bottling up their emotions might not say anything to you but just behave grumpily at you. As a man, you have to understand your girlfriend in this moment, be her consolation, and support in this moment.
She has lost interest in you
One powerful reason your girlfriend is mean to you is the above statement and this can hurt when the woman your life revolves around suddenly loses interest in you.
Oftentimes you are the cause of it, when you don’t treat your lady well, you don’t pay attention to her feelings, you don’t give her enough time, she is jealous, lack of communication, or she has met someone else all these can make her lose interest in you and cause her behavior to change.
Have you heard a woman say I am no longer interested in you and then you ask her why, but she can’t just pin it on anything and her attitude has changed?
It could be mental stress, depression can lead to unhappiness, uncontrollable anxiety and anger, and even confusion. Well, there is a chance you can help her out and build your connections back, don’t give up.
Increase your affection romantically, assure her, and be there, you can even seek help from a therapist but if all this doesn’t bring her back, then you have to let her go.
Your girlfriend is a people pleaser
People like this avoid confrontation, ignore their feelings, and want to make everyone else happy to their detriment.
Always make sure to give your girlfriend a comfortable ground to air her feelings, also make sure you ask for her opinions before doing things and listen when she speaks to you.
People pleasing in the actual sense is not a toxic trait but it can be harmful to oneself and also your relationship.
In fear of losing you, or trying to please you, your girlfriend might lose herself. Once you notice this kind of behavior in her, watch her reactions to certain things that you do, while she might not tell you verbally her countenance would pass the message.
If not, you might drive your girlfriend to distance herself from you, and you don’t want to be in a relationship where your girlfriend is treating you like you don’t exist.
Lack of trust
Try your hardest to stay faithful to your girlfriend. Because once your woman loses her trust in you, she won’t care about you.
But the trust issue doesn’t necessarily have to be that you had done something wrong before in your relationship, most times it could be from her past relationships.
If she has been together with dishonest men, chances are high that she might not be able to trust another man, even a good one. In this situation you have to try and convince her and continually prove yourself to her, though this can be draining trust issues can be agonizing.
If you really love her and you are willing to be patient until she learns to trust you then no problem you can go ahead but have it at the back of your mind that it is not easy to change a broken person.
Like I stated earlier, stay true to your woman while you both are together because cheating and lies are major things that can make your woman not trust you and be mean to you.
She wants to end the relationship
When a woman gets tired of the relationship and wants to end it but doesn’t know how to tell you, what they mostly do is change their behaviors towards you so they can push you away.
They do things to drive you crazy until you get the message and end the relationship.
Your girlfriend is actually a mean person
If you enter into a relationship with someone who has a bad character with the hope of changing them, many times this isn’t the case and you might also feel the wrath.
Your girlfriend can also pick bad attributes from the people she hangs out with, past experiences can also turn her into a mean person or she is just someone who expresses herself with anger.
You can have a calm conversation with her or seek help externally to try and save what you share. If things still do not work out it’s obvious she isn’t for you.
She is comparing you with other men
When you are not able to meet your girlfriend’s expectations and her friends are enjoying what she craves from you with their men, this can trigger your girlfriend into being mean to you.
Or if she is always around girls who show off what their partners have done for them and then she demands this from you but you are not able to meet up due to some reasons.
These two causes I have stated above can make her begin to compare you with them and start making demeaning comments to you.
You have invaded her space
Another powerful reason your girlfriend is mean to you is that you have invaded her space and she feels choked. It can make her give you an attitude to push you away.
It’s good to discuss boundaries before entering into a relationship, and boundaries are not only restricted to physical space but also emotional, material, and mental aspects are involved.
You might even be surprised when your girlfriend tells you she doesn’t want you visiting her, calling her during working hours, going through her stuff, talking to her in a particular way, and so on.
But when you have no idea of all this and begin to do them, it can cause her to yell at you. And you have to respect each other’s boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship.
Compatibility
When you share different values and interests and see life differently there is bound to be disagreement
If you and your girlfriend don’t share a lot in common there is a tendency that you might both resent each other. And always have arguments that may lead her to display meanness towards you.
Most divorces today are a result of incompatibility, if you both cannot try and agree on one thing it’s best you end the relationship before taking it further.
She is insecure
If your girlfriend is insecure she wouldn’t treat you well. Jealousy and possessiveness are traits of insecurity.
You will find her turning cold to see if she can get your attention and make herself feel good.
Also, she might even throw tantrums and push you to test you to see if you would come through for her. All these are just to assure herself about your feelings for her.
Insecurity can make your relationship stagnant because you will find yourself in a circle of constantly trying to prove your love for your partner and this can be emotionally draining.
She wants to pay you back
You might have done something in the past that hurt your girlfriend, but she gave you and you took her feelings for granted.
Or you constantly do things that annoy her without considering how she feels, you have disrespected her countless times and she has been counting your scores.
She might reach a breaking point, and change her behavior to spite you, for all the pain that you have caused to her and this is a way of healing for her.
This type of behavior, if not controlled, can become harmful to your relationship.
Once you notice that you are being punished by your girlfriend immediately on your own, apologize sincerely and make a personal effort to gain her trust back.
She doesn’t feel loved
The feeling of being unloved can cause a disconnection in relationships. Once your girlfriend begins to feel that she is not loved properly by you it can cause her to become mean to you
It might be that you are going through something at that time that made you not pay attention to her feelings.
Or it could even be that you might have unknowingly upset her. She might begin to give you attitude and pick at you.
This is just her way of communicating it to you, do not retaliate but rather listen and let her know she can be comfortable telling you things that she doesn’t like, so it does affect your relationship.
Mental Health/Depression
Another powerful reason she is mean to you is the reason stated above. Some personal issues your girlfriend might be going through might lead her to depression. It could be from work, family, not being satisfied with herself, or just life in general.
This can affect her behavior towards you, you find her constantly getting angry easily, withdrawing from you, being less concerned, and having different displays of mood swings.
Once you notice her showing signs of depression, In this case, it’s best to consult a professional to help and be there to offer your support and comfort.
Stress
Stress can be another reason why your girlfriend is mean to you, a bad day can cause stress, not achieving a set goal can cause stress, lack of time to take care of herself can cause stress and even bad news can also be the reason for stress and all this can lead to emotional breakdown where she is acting irritably at you.
In this situation, you have to give her space to regain control of her mind before you both discuss the issue at hand and find ways to resolve it.
Communication problems and misunderstanding
Not being able to address issues without raising your voices at each other, can make your girlfriend begin to avoid confrontation with you which can lead to built-up resentment.
Another scenario is a situation where she is trying to communicate her emotions to you and you are not able to understand what she is saying can lead to frustration and silent treatment from her.
Also, the ability to use the right words when discussing is important.
Try not to be controlling or commanding as a man in your relationship as all these can lead to hostility from her.
She has developed feelings for someone else
One sad but powerful reason your girlfriend is mean to you is because she has fallen for someone else.
The painful truth about this is that you have to let her go. Some signs that can tell you that another man has captured your woman’s heart are emotional, physical, and intimate withdrawal and distancing, confusion, and anxiety.
She might be confused about telling you her new feelings or feel guilty about it maybe because you were a good person to her.
Though this guilt feeling will not make her nice to you even if she tries, you will still notice mean behaviors from her.
As I said earlier, be prepared to let her go but also be open to listening to reasons that prompted a change of heart from her. It will help you understand her and might help you later in a new relationship.
