Never been in a relationship before, and you’re wondering if there’s something wrong with you?
First, it’s normal to not have experienced any relationship. You’d be surprised to find out that there are many like you out there.
Also, you should understand that it’s never too old to start a relationship. Maybe you’re no longer in your twenties or you’re nearing your forties, and you’re wondering if you’ll ever find love.
Yes, it’s possible to find love at any age. Age is just a number after all.
So, what can you do if you’ve never been in a relationship?
Fortunately, this article will take care of things you can do if you’ve never been in a relationship before. Follow me as I discuss 15 of them.
15 Important Things to Do If You Have Never Been in a Relationship
It’s normal to worry if you’ve never been in a relationship before, but you shouldn’t let it overwhelm you or become a stigma. However, you should take hold of your life and invite love into it.
So, below are 15 things to do:
- Stop worrying about it
- Figure out your purpose for a relationship
- Take the time to learn about dating and relationships
- Take the time to focus on yourself
- Get attractive
- Build your confidence
- Reflect on what might be holding you back
- Work on your social life
- Travel
- Make sure you have enough self-love
- Make efforts to go on a date
- Get out of your comfort zone
- Prepare for rejections
- Don’t be in a rush
- Have standards and boundaries
Stop Worrying About It
The first thing you should do if you’ve never been in a relationship before is to stop worrying about it.
If you’re nearing your thirties and you’re enthusiastic about love, it’s normal to get bothered if you have not been able to get into a relationship.
However, consistently worrying about it isn’t the solution to the problem. You’ll only get yourself worked up and overwhelmed.
Usually what most people who are of a certain age and who’re yet to find love think is that there’s something wrong with them.
But, who set the rule about the right time to find love?
There’s absolutely no definite time to find the love of your life. You can find them at any age.
Therefore, don’t worry yourself to death over your lack of relationship. You just have to become intentional to get what you want.
Figure Out Your Purpose for a Relationship
Another thing you should do if you’ve never been in a relationship is to figure out your purpose for a relationship before getting into one.
Why do you want a relationship badly? Is it because you feel you’re getting old to find love? Are you feeling pressured because everyone around you has a partner?
Are you desperate for marriage and kids? Are you lonely and you need a companion badly? Are you starved of physical intimacy? Do you need someone to take over your bills? Do you need validation?
What is your reason for wanting a relationship? What are you looking for in a relationship?
If you get your answer straight, you’ll be able to figure out the kind of relationship you need.
Moreover, defining your relationship is a tool for a successful relationship. If you’re looking to settle down in marriage and have children, then you should be out for someone who has the same purpose.
If you just want a partner to quench your urges, getting into a relationship with someone who wants love, who wants more will end up being a mess.
If you want a relationship badly because your friends are in one, you might end up with just anyone who comes your way.
No matter what you want, you shouldn’t allow yourself to become so desperate that you end up in a mess.
So, take your time to figure out your purpose for a relationship and align yourself with that purpose. Defining the kind of relationship you want is key to finding the right partner.
Take the Time to Learn About Dating and Relationships
The next step after figuring out the kind of relationship you want is to learn about dating and relationships.
If you’ve never been in a relationship before, learning about romantic relationships will be helpful if you’re looking to start a serious relationship.
You don’t need to attend a formal class or anything. You can talk to your parents, talk to friends who have been in relationships or are in one, or watch relationship videos online.
While it’s not a rule set in stone, having these tips can guide you when you get into a relationship.
Moreover, if you’re the type who’s shy to talk to someone of the opposite s3x, this process is important.
In addition, there’s no harm in learning from people’s experiences before you start yours. It’ll help you in avoiding the mistakes they made.
However, that’s not to say you’ll use theirs as a yardstick to determine how your relationship will be.
Take the Time to Focus on Yourself
Another important thing to do if you’ve never been in a relationship and you’re keen on starting one is to take that time to focus on yourself.
First, you should understand that starting a serious relationship means you’re becoming partners with the other person.
Becoming partners means that you won’t only focus on yourself but on the relationship to make it work. There are sacrifices and compromises to make, you’ll have to put in effort and energy to build a relationship.
While being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you’ll deny yourself attention, it does mean that you’re not the only source of attention.
So, while you’re yet to get into such a commitment, why not take the time to focus on yourself fully?
If you’re still in your teens or early twenties, or at any age and you’re yet to discover yourself, you shouldn’t be in a hurry to get into a relationship. Rather your focus should be on finding and building yourself.
Discover yourself, focus on your career, build your finances, and find happiness in yourself. Relationships can be a great distraction if you’re yet to build yourself.
So, while waiting for that love of your life and doing things to attract them, ensure you’re your priority.
Get Attractive
Another thing you should do while waiting for the love of your life is to get attractive.
Now, I’m not talking about your looks, which is a part of it anyway, my focus is on yourself generally.
What would attract that potential partner when they meet you? What would be that thing that’d keep attracting them when eventually you start a relationship with them?
Most people spend their energy on looks thinking that that is all to attractiveness. But, that is a big mistake. Not everyone is moved by physical features.
Granted, that can be the first thing to create an impression, but that is not what will create a lasting impression.
So, what you should focus on is your personality. Get your personality attractive.
Do you think someone would like to spend a long time with you? Can you hold an intelligent conversation? Do you have a sense of humor? Are you kind?
Your personality will determine if you can keep a relationship. It’s not enough to be eager for a relationship and then when you finally get one, you can’t go anywhere with it.
However, while personality is the key to attractiveness, you shouldn’t ignore your looks.
As I’ve established earlier, your look is a part of it. You shouldn’t have a kind heart and look shabby, that might prevent people from approaching you.
Therefore, while you work on getting an attractive personality, ensure you look attractive enough to get people to discover the beautiful you.
Build Your Confidence
Another thing you should do if you’ve never been in a relationship is to build your confidence.
One of the reasons you might not have been able to start a relationship is your lack of confidence.
So, check. Do you lack confidence, or you don’t have enough?
If you think you lack confidence, you should find ways to build yours. Also, you might lack the boldness in meeting strangers and speaking to them, or you might lack confidence in yourself.
Additionally, lacking confidence in yourself won’t help you see others. If you have low self-esteem, it’ll be difficult to build a healthy relationship.
So, take that time while you wait for the love of your life to work on your confidence level. It’s important for a healthy relationship.
Reflect on What Might Be Holding You Back
Understanding the root of a problem is the first step to finding a solution. If you understand what has kept you from having a romantic relationship, you can work towards undoing it.
Many things could be a hindrance to finding the love of your life. Could it be that you feel unattractive? Do you lack a social life?
Do you have unnecessary high standards? Are you always meeting the wrong people? Do you lack trust in people? Are people’s relationships around you discouraging you?
Do you feel unworthy of love? The list can go on and on. Countless things can make it difficult for people to find love, and most times these are things they can work on by themselves.
So, reflect on what is holding you back, and be ready to take the next step of stopping it.
Work on Your Social Life
A lack of social life can be why you haven’t found anyone attractive enough to initiate a relationship.
Are you always indoors? Do you avoid meeting people even online?
Social engagements are part of the ways you can get to meet people. Moreover, there are plenty of ways you can improve your social life if you’re ready for it.
First, think about what interests you and find ways to meet people of similar interests.
There are clubs and groups you can join: charity, dancing, art, sports and several more. These are places where you can meet new people and get to know them.
In addition, churches and work events are other great places to find and connect with new people.
So, get up and get a social life.
Travel
There are a lot of things traveling does for you including helping you meet new people.
Traveling offers a beautiful way to relax, learn, explore, and get to meet people of diverse origins.
So, one of the important things you can do if you’ve never dated anyone is to travel to new places.
Probably you haven’t met anyone that catches your fancy around, so why not try outside your environment?
You don’t need to travel too far if you can’t afford it, just step out to places you’ve not been before and spend quality time exploring and meeting people.
Who knows, your missing rib might just be waiting for you.
Make Sure You Have Enough Self Love
Self-love is important if you want to get into a relationship. You have to love yourself enough to be able to love another person.
It’s not enough to be eager for a relationship when you don’t place much value on yourself.
If you’re not comfortable with where you are or who you are, then you have no business worrying about a relationship. You might end up frustrating yourself and your partner.
Furthermore, as I have established earlier, you should focus on yourself and ensure you love yourself enough before you take the next step of initiating a relationship.
Make Efforts to Go on a Date
It’s not enough to worry about your lack of love, what efforts are you making to go on a date? It’s not enough to meet new people, what efforts are you making to initiate a first date?
Being intentional about what you want is a smart way of getting it.
So, you can talk to friends to set you up on dates. Rather than wait for someone to ask you out, this is you taking charge of your relationship life.
One of the beautiful things about talking to friends about setting you on dates is that you get to meet single people who are open to relationships. It makes it all the easier.
In addition, you can try dating apps. Lots of dating websites and apps are out there for you to meet people with similar interests or intentions.
Bumble is a great app if you want something serious.
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Another thing you should have in mind if you haven’t been in a relationship before and you’re looking forward to one is getting out of your comfort zone.
Getting intentional and taking charge of your relationship life would mean getting out of your comfort zone.
You shouldn’t remain comfortable with things you’ve been doing before that aren’t yielding results.
For instance, if you don’t like hanging out with friends, then you should learn to hang out with them if you’re looking forward to a love life.
If you’ve been saying no to partying with your colleagues, why not say “yes” next time and see how things go? You won’t always get what you want if you’re relaxed and waiting for it.
Prepare for Rejections
While on this journey of finding your significant other, you should prepare for rejection.
The fear of rejection is one of the hindrances to finding love. Understanding that meeting new people, talking with them, and asking them out on dates will involve rejection at one point or the other is the best way to deal with it.
So, you shouldn’t be afraid of someone saying no to you because everyone isn’t meant to say yes to you.
Put yourself in their shoes. You wouldn’t say yes to everyone that shows interest in you, right? If that is the case, you’ll end up with a truckload of romantic partners.
Therefore, prepare to be rejected on this journey of finding your love. Yes, it’d hurt, but understanding that it’ll hurt more if that person had some feelings for you, but you never got to know because you were afraid to talk to them should help you take that bold step.
Don’t Be in a Rush
While you wish to be in a relationship, you shouldn’t be in a rush to jump into one.
It can be very exciting when you eventually meet someone you connect with and share chemistry with, but you shouldn’t allow such excitement to lead you to a mistake.
So, you should take your time, enjoy the friendship, get to know each other, and allow the intimacy to build to new levels every day.
You’ll be happy when you eventually start something you both want and are ready for.
Have Standards and Boundaries
While you’re ready to change your relationship status, you shouldn’t eliminate your standards or do away with boundaries.
One of the reasons there are a lot of toxic relationships today is that a lot of people rush headlong into a relationship without setting boundaries or knowing what they want.
Being eager for a relationship shouldn’t mean you should be desperate that you would go for just anyone.
Knowing what you want, sticking to it, and setting boundaries are the right steps in finding the right partner. These steps will help you define the relationship you want and the kind of person you need.
That’s not to say you should have unreasonable high standards or set unnecessary boundaries, you’ll end up being a hindrance to yourself.
However, not knowing what you want is more dangerous.
Final Words
Never been in a relationship before? These are things you should have in mind if you’re ready for one.
It’s not going to be easy. However, taking charge of your love life eliminates lots of hindrances.
