The greatest tip for being comfortable around your crush is being yourself, and they will appreciate you for who you are.
Show them your true personality by sharing your interests and hobbies, telling jokes you find funny, sharing your favorite music, and behaving in a way that feels natural and comfortable to you.
“How do I be comfortable around my crush?” is one of the most common questions we receive from our readers.
First of all, it’s okay to feel nervous and excited. It’s even evidence that you think a particular type of way towards them.
The goal is to not stress too much about whether they know you like them. Take them off the pedestal you’ve put them on—they’re just a person like you.
Whatever you’re overthinking or feeling anxious about is probably not even on their radar. Try to see them as a friend and aim to get to know them as a person first.
In this article, you’ll find some of the best tips to help you feel more comfortable around your crush.
25 Great Secrets to Get Comfortable Around Your Crush
You will notice that most of these tips are towards seeing them as a friend and aim to get to know them as a person first.
This way, you’ll focus less on your feelings and more on building a genuine connection, which can help reduce any awkwardness.
1. Act natural
Act naturally, and don’t put pressure on them.
They probably already know they’re your crush, right?
Now it’s time to get to know each other and see if you want to date.
2. Ask about their interests
What do they like to do? Music, movies, games?
When they mention something you enjoy, too, respond positively.
Smile and maintain eye contact (but avoid staring).
3. Don’t rush to ask them out
You’ll likely want a few conversations before asking them out officially.
Maybe suggest grabbing coffee after class or work, or perhaps a bubble tea, a beer, or whatever seems appropriate.
4. Read their body language
Open body language is important.
Keep your arms relaxed, not crossed. Face them with a pleasant expression or smile.
Mirroring their body language can create a subconscious connection—if they lean their chin on one hand, you can do the same, but make sure it feels natural.
5. Compliment something about them
Pick something you genuinely like about them—not something cliché like their eyes or smile, but something unique like how they talk about their family or show compassion to others.
Mention this during the conversation sincerely and casually.
6. Deal with low self-esteem
There’s a big difference between being naturally shy and having low self-esteem. Are you just an introverted person, or do you lack confidence in yourself?
If it’s low self-esteem, you might not think your crush could like you back, which makes you feel shy around them.
If you think low self-esteem is the issue, start working on it by learning to love yourself.
You don’t need to love yourself to be loved—that’s actually bad advice. But you do need to love yourself to believe that others can love you.
Your crush could be giving you clear hints, but you might ignore them if you can’t believe they could like you back.
7. Don’t be discouraged after one conversation
It’s normal to feel nervous, but rushing won’t help. Slow down and take your time.
Your crush may need more time to see all your great qualities. Don’t be discouraged if one conversation doesn’t go perfectly.
By sticking around, you’ll give them a better chance to get to know you.
8. Start by texting if you’re shy
The best way to talk to your crush when you’re shy is to text them instead of talking in person. Texting lets you show your personality without the pressure of face-to-face conversation.
It also gives you more time to think about what you want to say, which can reduce anxiety. This added comfort can help you overcome your shyness and express yourself more naturally.
9. Avoid pretending
Think about why you’re trying so hard. You don’t need to change yourself so much that it makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable.
When we like someone, we try to show them the best version of ourselves. But we’re not perfect all the time. Your crush should like you for who you really are.
If you’re afraid they won’t like the real you, maybe they’re not the right person for you. Or perhaps you’re overthinking, and they do like you for who you are. You need to figure that out.
10. It’s a plus if you’re funny, but it’s not necessary
Humor is an excellent way to make the conversation more relaxed. Your crush will enjoy being around you, and it will help you both feel more comfortable.
But if you’re not good at making jokes, don’t try too hard. It can feel awkward if you tell a joke and you’re the only one laughing.
11. Avoid “Yes or no” questions
If you’re not great at conversation, you can still have exciting chats with your crush by asking the right questions. Avoid questions that will require yes or no as the answer.
Prepare some interesting questions before you talk to them to help them open up about themselves.
Asking more questions keeps the conversation lively and helps avoid awkward silences. It also enables you to get closer to them quickly.
12. Listen well
Listening is super essential for making a good connection.
Instead of talking all the time, listen to your crush. Look them in the eyes, smile when you speak to them, and don’t get distracted by your phone.
When you give them your full attention, they’ll see how much you care about them and enjoy talking to you.
13. Care about what they think on any given issue
Don’t just rattle on about what you think on every topic that comes up. To avoid awkwardness, seek their opinion, even if it’s not necessary.
This can make them feel important. They’ll see that you value their thoughts, which can make your connection stronger.
If things go well, they might also turn to you for advice when they need clarity on something, giving you the chance to express your opinion and further deepen your bond.
14. Don’t be desperate
Being too desperate can show that you’re not confident in yourself.
If you seem too needy, your crush might not like it. Instead, focus on respecting yourself, and they’ll be more interested in you.
It’s okay to flirt a bit, but always be respectful.
Once you’ve had some good conversations and built a connection, you can ask them out.
15. Know when to confess
Thinking about whether to tell your crush you like them can be really stressful.
But if you’re friends or know each other well, confessing might be a good idea.
Just make sure you’re comfortable and prepared for whatever happens.
There’s no one right way to tell someone how you feel.
16. Be open about yourself
Being a good listener is essential, but you also need to open up about yourself. Sharing your secrets can make someone feel closer to you.
To make it easier to talk about yourself, have a few stories ready—like childhood memories, recent events, hobbies, or skills you love.
Keep it short and exciting without talking too much. And always be yourself—being authentic is what people appreciate the most.
17. Leverage mutual friends
If you have things in common with your crush, like being in the same club or having mutual friends, use that to spend more time together.
This can make it easier to talk and take the pressure off finding things to talk about.
18. You can set small goals
Start by setting small, manageable goals to feel more comfortable around your crush.
You can start with simple actions like smiling, saying hello, or asking a casual question
Remember that the goal is to focus on the process, not the outcome of your actions.
Gradually increase the difficulty of your goals as you gain confidence. At a certain stage, you can now start longer conversations or invite them to join a group activity.
This step-by-step approach will help you build confidence and ease around your crush over time.
19. Practice with others
If you feel anxious talking to your crush, start by practicing with people you’re more comfortable around or feel neutral about.
As you practice asking questions or talking about yourself, pay attention to any bad habits you have (like staring at the ground or biting your nails) and work on fixing them.
One helpful thing is to imagine different conversations with your crush in your head.
20. Know when to leave the shy phase
If you’ve been talking to your crush for about a month now, and it’s still hard to keep a conversation going in person, you need to start identifying how far you have got left in that shy phase.
It could be that over text, you both talk for hours.
I recommend you go with the flow and ask whatever pops into your head when talking to them in person.
21. Know what interests them
Before talking to your crush, try to learn about their interests, passions, and likes so you’ll have things to talk about.
If they love reading or playing basketball, ask them about their favorite author or player.
But don’t pretend to know more about them than you do—it could make things awkward.
22. Increase your self-confidence
When it comes to your personality, you don’t need to change who you are but highlight the best qualities that make you shine. Whether it’s your sense of humor, your ability to listen, or your kindness, focus on those.
But remember, there’s a big difference between being confident and being arrogant. Confidence is attractive, while arrogance can push people away.
23. Don’t give up easily; they were probably impressed
You might feel like a talk with your crush was really awkward, and you’re freaking out about it.
But remember, life keeps going, and people don’t usually remember awkward stuff as much as we do. So, don’t be too harsh on yourself.
24. Get them to help you with something
One easy way to start a conversation with your crush is by asking them for help.
If you see them nearby, pretend like you’re looking for something—like a book or a specific person.
Act like you’re in a rush and a bit frantic. Then, when you make eye contact with your crush, ask them a question like, “Sorry, did you see someone walk by?”
Don’t start the convos from here. It will be obvious you’re faking everything. Just wrap up and move on. It builds up familiarity and provides something to talk about in the subsequent encounter.
25. Remember to smile
When you’re walking by your crush and their friends aren’t around, just give a quick smile or say hi.
Don’t stop to chat; just smile warmly or greet them confidently and keep walking.
It might feel awkward at first, but it usually works well!
Getting Comfortable With Your Crush — Video Guide
Many online resources can help you get comfortable with yourself. However, I found this guide particularly helpful because it explains how to be yourself, ask about your hobbies and interests, and respond positively.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llN6kqAxZjk
It also covers making eye contact, using open body language, subtly copying their gestures, and giving sincere compliments about something unique, all of which help you get to know your crush better.
The Bottom Line
Be yourself! The key is whether you both genuinely like each other.
Feeling a little nervous around someone you like is entirely normal. These nerves usually come from wanting them to feel the same way about you.
By being yourself and staying relaxed, your interactions with them will feel more natural.
Good luck!
